


Change

by BastardSirius



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-08-30 18:26:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8544316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BastardSirius/pseuds/BastardSirius
Summary: Sirius is constantly touching Remus, which is more than fine with Remus. But then Sirius gets a girlfriend, which is not fine at all.





	1. Remus' Crush

**Author's Note:**

> This is my attempt at trying to depict Sirius and Remus' relationship in a way I haven't before: Friends with a crush on each other that don't know what they're doing. Usually I'll have at least one of them already in love or something and here I tried to show both of them getting there slowly.
> 
> Warning : Some Sirius/Girl in the beginning – but I promise it’s only two paragraphs and is gone in the beginning of the second chapter!

None of them were sure exactly how to feel about Amaryllis. They couldn't deny that she was cool, that was for sure. Ever since they’d met her at Arthur’s Hogsmade birthday party, they’d all liked her. She was one of those very few people that seemed to get along with everyone. Even the Slytherins didn’t seem to mind her.  
  
Still, none of them had ever seen her as, well, a girl. She was a woman. She was twenty-three for Merlin’s sake. She was a cool woman, that was it.  
  
But not for Sirius. Sirius apparently saw much more in her than that. First they’d just called him a dog, thought he was just shagging her. This, although weird, was acceptable. He’d already slept with all the pretty girls in school so the poor lad had to get some somehow, they'd said.  
  
Then the letters had started. The unnecessary trips to Hogsmade almost every day, the flowers, the chocolate, the sudden chuckles in the middle of class that were shaken off as “just remembered something Amy said…" Little by little, Amy had become a part of their life. It was so weird; it had never happened before. Sirius had never brought a girl into their life like this, ditching pranks to meet her, constantly talking about her – making sure they never, ever forgot her existence, even for a few minutes.  
  
James was getting to the point where he wanted to just strangle Amaryllis, stupefy her and leave her alone in the Forbidden Forest to get stomped over by Centaurs.

If only he knew that while Peter seemed to enjoy the extra attention he was getting, Remus hated Amy even more than James did.  
  
In the beginning of their fifth year, Sirius had begun… doing things. Groping things. Remus, to be precise. His hands somehow always found their way inside Remus’ robes. He also seemed to wrestle Remus randomly – except it wasn’t so random anymore, it was every time they were in the dormitory. To top it all off, if he ever found Remus laying down he jumped on him. On some occasions, he even humped Remus, laughing and joking about Remus' imaginary boyfriends doing the same.  
  
James and Peter had tried to make fun of him, call him a poof, etc. but Sirius Black is a very curious creature – when he had said that he was straight and that he was just messing with Remus, it was simply accepted as fact. While secretly the whole school was waiting for him to come out as bisexual, nobody could think of a reason why he wouldn’t just come out if he _was_  one. He was a rebel, his friends had already shown that they weren’t prejudiced by accepting Remus’ homosexuality, it would truly piss his mother off and girls seemed to love the thought of boys on boys … so many reasons why it would be easy to. They figured that if he fancied a boy, he would come out.  
  
Still, it’s hard to ignore a guy constantly groping the other. Especially when the other boy blushed and shouted and protested all the time.  
  
The protesting guy in question, Remus, was actually quite happy. True, he didn’t particularly want to be molested all the time, but the person molesting him being his crush helped matters greatly. No straight guy needed this much ‘male bonding’, he thought. Sirius just wanted to have all the fun he could with girls before jumping into a relationship with one of his best mates. It seemed reasonable since obviously such a thing would change the dynamics of their relationship a lot. Besides, even though he’d had a crush on Sirius since third year, that hadn’t stopped him from having any fun, so it surely wouldn’t stop Sirius Black either.  
  
And then there was Amy. Bloody stupid name, if you asked Remus – so plain and stupid.

* * *

 

Sirius gave Remus' knee a squeeze as he sat down next to him in the Common Room.

“You know what your problem is, Black?” a red-faced Remus growled.  
  
“Too handsome?” Sirius was wearing his trademark grin and yet his mouth and eyebrows twitched a little, showing that he had indeed noticed Remus’ uncharacteristically angry tone.  
  
“You’re too bloody greedy.” Remus bit his lip so hard after he said that that he seemed to be trying to chew his face off.  
  
“Greedy?”  
  
“You have to have it all, don’t you Black?” Remus’ expression changed from angry to just cold. He wasn’t biting his lip anymore but he was still red all over. His face seemed to say ‘I’ve gone this far now, might as well go ahead and say it all’.  
  
“I wasn’t under the impression that I didn’t – am I missing something?” Sirius tried to joke, but the joke didn’t seem funny even to him.  
  
“That’s not – you can’t have it all Sirius, that’s not how the bloody world works.”  
  
“How does it work then, Moony?” Sirius was curious as to where this would lead – true, he was ambitious but he hadn’t done anything particularly ambitious or mean lately. He hadn’t even raised a riot when Professor Groom didn’t give him an O on the last test.  
  
“You just – you stick to one person and leave the rest the fuck alone.” Remus’ voice started trembling.  
  
Sirius was shocked, to say the least. Remus, quiet, always-smiling Remus was not only showing signs of negative emotions – directed at Sirius no less – but his voice was shaking like as if he was trying not to cry.  
  
“Where’re you going with this, Remus? Stick to one person? I’m in my first serious relationship, I’m sticking to one person for the first time in my life and now you’re telling me to…stick to one person? Are you sure you’re alright? Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing?” He must’ve had one too many Mud Shots, Sirius thought. They really needed to stop playing that.  
  
Mud Shot was a game in which they would all try out potions they tried to brew – from scratch, without instructions. They would sit on the dormitory floor and play Exploding Snap and every time someone lost a hand, the person with the most points would pick a random bottle from their Mud Bag and the loser had to gulp it down in a Mud Shot.  
  
“I am not bloody sick, Sirius. You – how can you say you’re sticking to just one person? What about what happened just a second ago?”

As if on cue, the two third years left the Common Room, leaving only the Marauders behind. It wasn't often but they had seen Marauders fight before and had never seen somebody be in the same room and  _not_ get hexed.

Sirius looked at him like as if he said Merlin had three balls.  
  
“You just… groped me.”  
  
“I patted you, actually. ‘Groped’ makes it sound like as if I had…sexual intentions.”

You could cut the tension in the room with a sword, even though Sirius was trying his best to sound casual.

“Well if you don’t have sexual intentions then stop touching me all the time. Don’t grope me during class, don’t tackle me every time I’m on my bed – just stop touching me all the time.”

Remus got up to leave.  
  
“I didn’t know it bothered you so much Moony, you should’ve just told me, mate. No need to get so angry about it.” Sirius seemed a little more relaxed now. He always had been a good actor. Internally, he felt embarrassed that he had been touching Remus often enough for it to be a Thing.  
  
“But I DID tell you Sirius! So many times! What do you think me telling you to let me go meant? ‘Please Sirius more’? Every single time I protest but you just ignore me.”  
  
“Yeah, but I mean… when you tease someone, they do say ‘don’t’ but it’s still fun… I didn’t realize it seriously bothered you.”  
  
“You seriously bother me.”  
  
Sirius snickered. “Well, I’m a very Sirius person.”  
  
“Oh just shut the fuck up.” Remus got up and left the dormitory, slamming the door behind him before Sirius could even say anything else.  
  
“Bloody hell, talk about PMS…”  
  


* * *

 

Remus wasn’t at the dinner. He didn’t show up at the dormitory afterwards either. James told Sirius shortly not to worry and that Remus was just working on an assignment but it was well past midnight when Sirius woke James up – he couldn’t be at the library anymore, it was closed.  
  
“’e ju’ stud’nn.” James mumbled.  
  
“It’s almost bloody dawn James! You don’t think something happened to him? Maybe he went to the Forbidden Forest because he wanted to be away from me and – and something happened to him…”  
  
James sighed, reached for his glasses with his left hand without opening his eyes. Once he had then, he stretched and got up.  
  
“He just wants to be alone Sirius, let him be…”  
  
“Why though?” Sirius sat down on James’ bed, looking like a kicked puppy.  
  
“Well… He wasn’t feeling very well today, I s’pose.” He shrugged, even though Sirius couldn’t see it, in the dark, he still knew – when you’ve been friends with a person for a very long time you more or less know all the gestures they make.  
  
“I don’t get it. Why was he so mad at me? So I tease him now and then, so what? If it was so bothersome, why didn’t he tell me before now? Why such a dramatic scene?”  
  
“I think… I think it didn’t bother him as much before – you know…”  
  
“Before what?”  
  
“Amy.”  
  
“What’s Amy got to do with all this?”  
  
“I… Well, you probably already know, but Remus has a crush on you. I guess it didn’t bother him when you didn’t have a steady girlfriend but now that you seem so in love, he just… On some level, he couldn’t help but hope you’d like him back someday, I think. That you’d suddenly turn queer or something.”  
  
Sirius was silent for a whole minute, so James, to stop the awkwardness, kept talking:  
  
“He didn’t do it to be mean. It wasn’t like he hoped you’d be miserable with girls or anything. He does want you to be happy, he told me so. Still… Well, you wouldn’t know, you’ve never had a crush that didn’t like you back but… Think of it like me and Lily. Of course I wish Lily would just wake up one day and think I’m the best thing to walk this Earth but that doesn’t mean I want her to be miserable with others, I want her to be happy in the end.  
  
“Well, maybe not.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. Sirius was still quiet though. “Are you going to say anything or what?”  
  
“I didn’t know that he had a crush on me.”  
  
James snorted. “Oh come on. You can spot someone liking you from a mile away. Even in second year you would just walk into the Great Hall and tell me which girls were giggling and blushing when you walked in. You can’t tell me you didn’t…”  
  
“Oh. You really didn’t know.” James said, after a pause.  
  
“I didn’t. Now that I do, it does seem a little cruel, all the touching… I didn’t mean it like that, but if somebody I liked always touched me… I’ve been so mean to him, haven’t I? I truly didn’t mean to, though – I was just messing with him… I didn’t know…”  
  
“It’s alright Sirius – you couldn’t know, I guess… Just tell him that and he’ll understand. You know how Remus is; doesn’t hold grudges and he won’t hold something like this against you. Just try and not touch him any more than necessary, yeah? Just because he’s okay with you not liking him doesn’t mean you still get to molest him!”  
  
“Yeah, yeah… I just hope he comes to the dormitory soon.” Sirius got up from James’ bed and moved towards the bed in front of it.  
  
“Hey sleepyhead, that’s Remus’ bed, yours is right here next to me, remember?”  
  
“It’s my turn to sleep on this bed now – Remus and I switch beds in winter, once a week or so. One of the beds is next to the window and the other isn't, so this way it's fair. How did you not notice this?”  
  
“Hey, it’s not my fault I wake up every day at bloody five to go practice. I don’t even see you guys in the mornings during weekdays. And weekends, well – we’re either wasted by the time we fall asleep or I don’t wake up until lunch time and by then Remus is already at the library and you’re getting your Weekend Lay.”  
  
“Gee, and I thought Remus was cranky. Look at you.”  
  
“I have to wake up in an hour, how do you expect me to be?” James said, putting his glasses next to him and pulling his covers.  
  
“Nobody’s making you practice every day at five, Potter.”  
  
“If I didn’t, then it would be your sorry arses having to do extra practice every single day to make up for the strategic mistakes I might make. You want to lose your every other weekend too, do you?”  
  
“Just go to sleep, Potter.”  
  
“Yeah I thought so.”  
  
Sirius grabbed his wand and whispered ‘engorgio’ and then ‘wingardium leviosa’, sending a huge pillow towards James.  
  
“I have to get up in fifty-seven minutes, Padfoot.” James groaned.  
  
“Accio Lily’s ribbon!” Sirius said loudly, making sure James heard him. James’ trunk made a little noise before opening up and with a ‘whoosh’ the ribbon was in Sirius’ hand.  
  
“This means war, you do realize, Black.”  
  
Sirius just grinned. The bastard, James thought – he just knew that Sirius was smiling, even if he couldn’t see him.  
  
“Rictusempra!”  
  
Laughter rose from Remus’ bed.  
  
“Finite Incantatem!” Peter shouted, “Can’t you two let me get some sleep? If you absolutely have to quarrel, take it outside!”  
  
“What, feeling left out, Wormie?”  
  
“Don’t call me that, Sirius.”  
  
“Why not, Wormie?” Sirius said, in a sing-song voice.  
  
“Because – Flagrate!”  
  
“What’d you just do, Wormtail? Burn your own tail?”  
  
“Not really, Padfoot.” Peter said happily, his voice sounding muffled, as if half his face was in his pillow. “I did it to one of your possessions. A very special one.”  
  
“Not my brush! You wouldn’t dare! Do you know how much that thing cost?”  
  
“Well, you’ll have to find out what I burned in the morning now won’t you? Go to sleep now.”  
  
“Oh you little- ” Sirius jumped out of his bed and pounced on Peter’s. “Densuageo!”  
  
“This AGAIN? Come up with new stuff Black, I can still sleep with big teeth.” Peter said in a calm tone, although he seemed to be trying hard not to smile.  
  
“Confringo!”  
  
“OW! What in Merlin’s name – my bloody FACE, Padfoot! Fuck! Now I have to go to the Hospital Wing. She’ll kill me this time, she will. Ask me if I was duelling Slytherins or something. Next time you don’t want me to sleep just use a levitating spell or something Black, not blow my FACE off.”  
  
“Oh shut up, you made my right leg vanish completely just last week.”  
  
“But I had a valid reason.”  
  
“So do I.”  
  
“Not really...”  
  
“Just go to sleep Sirius – and Peter I’ll get dressed and leave after I take a shower, you can just come with me and I’ll drop you off at the Hospital Wing, tell Pomfrey it was all my fault, okay?”  
  
“Thanks James.” Peter said, getting up, shaking one of his hands towards his face to make the burning stop a little.  
  
“Isn’t it a little early even for you, Prongs?” Sirius asked, curious. Walking over to Remus’ bed as if he didn’t just blow up Peter’s pillow - and half his face with it.  
  
“Yeah well obviously I’m not getting any more sleep like this, am I? I’ll just sleep later; I have two free periods today.”  
  
“Sorry Prongs, didn’t mean to keep you up.”  
  
“Yes you did.”  
  
Sirius grinned. “Well, yes.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius asks Remus out and gets punished for it - which leads to detention for Remus and Peter.

“What I don’t understand, Mr. Potter, is whether you think I have a lot to do so must forget things, or if you think I’m plain stupid,” Pomfrey huffed.  
  
“I think neither Poppy, how dare you even suggest that! Would I think that way about my one and only?” James said, looking appalled by the suggestion.  
  
“Oh so these regular visits to the infirmary are just a way to get more time with me?” Pomfrey said, unable to keep herself from smiling a little. Damn those boys. Even when she was mad at them they often did things that were so funny, she couldn’t help but be amused.  
  
“You see right through me don’t you?” James looked at her very seriously, “That’s what I love about you – it’s like we’ve just met but we’ve known each other all along. I’m amazed how you keep yourself from finishing my sentences.” It was funny how James looked more serious and sincere now than when he was asking that Evans girl out, Pomfrey thought.  
  
“Oh shush," Pomfrey said, in her perfectly rehearsed ‘I don’t care’ voice which was initially intended for students in pain to make them less scared, but had turned into a weapon against a certain Mr. Potter and his friend Mr. Black. “Just make sure to drink this every two hours until your face looks normal again, dear,” she said to Peter.  
  
“Yes, Mrs. Pomfrey. Thank you, Mrs. Pomfrey.” Peter grabbed the bottle and put it in his backpack.  
  
“Such a nice boy – you need to learn from him, Mr. Potter!”  
  
“Whatever did I say – whatever did I do to you, my love, that was anything but nice?” James said, his lips fake-trembling.  
  
“Oh I don’t know, show up with at least three minor and one major injury every week? Wake me up at 5 in the morning? Come up with injuries nobody has ever heard of? This, I dare say, is almost impressive.” She was shaking her head, semi-pushing them towards the exit.  
  
“Until we meet again, my dear!” James bid farewell to his fair maiden and started walking towards the pitch with a little nod towards Peter. “Later, mate.”  
  
“Later,” Peter agreed and wondered if the injury would allow him to skip first class – he really didn’t feel like listening to fake prophecies this morning.  


* * *

  
“I should’ve guessed,” Peter sighed, as he walked into the dorm. Sirius was sleeping. He’d woken them up just to go to sleep himself. He poked Sirius on his throat. Sirius was begging for it really, the way he was sleeping: on his back, with his pillow positioned weirdly around his shoulder blades and his head hanging down, his mouth wide open. Sirius just snorted once and made a weird movement with his head but continued his sleep.  
  
_This is what girls go crazy for. An idiot who doesn’t even look graceful or innocent or any of that even when he sleeps. Oh well. Time for some payback._  
  
“Sirius,” he whispered. “Sirius, you’re going to be late for class!” He snickered. “Well, seeing as you’re not waking up...” Peter pulled at Sirius’ sheets. Sirius woke up when he was at the edge of the bed.  
  
“What the-?”  
  
There was a loud ‘thump’ noise and a lot of cursing which ended with:  
  
“What in Merlin’s name do you think you’re doing, Peter? Kill me?” Sirius scoffed, frowning as he grabbed his pillow and went back to Remus’ now-sheetless bed.  
  
“I was just trying to wake you up so you wouldn’t be late for class,” Peter said in an innocent voice, “I called your name again and again but you just wouldn’t wake up! I couldn’t face the thought of you getting another detention, so I had to wake you up somehow!” Even though his voice was perfectly innocent, Peter couldn’t help but snicker at the end of his little speech.  
  
“Yeah I bet,” Sirius moaned. “You ‘worm’. You shalt pay later. Now; sleep.”  
  
“Not really. We have divination in an hour. Why does that stupid tower have to be so...tower-y and high?” Peter was frowning too, now, as he made his way to his bed.  
  
“Maybe because it’s a tower?” Sirius suggested.  
  
“No wonder they say you’re one of the smartest students this place has ever had.” Peter rolled his eyes.  
  
“Of course I am,” Sirius grinned.  
  
“Yeah yeah... Just get up and take a shower, I saw you with the leaves yesterday around the field – you probably stink.”  
  
“What do you mean ‘probably stink’? First of all; no member of the Ancient and Noble House of Black ‘stinks’. They might have a ‘different odour,’ but they never ‘stink.’ And besides, you were here a second ago, couldn’t you tell?”  
  
“We charmed the area around your bed to smell like roses last month, Sirius. We just couldn’t stand the wet dog smell anymore.” Peter seemed very serious as he said this. Then again, he was a Marauder...  
  
“Yeah, right, very funny Peter,” Sirius said, making no move to get up, just curling up more.  
  
“Actually, Sirius, we did.”  
  
Suddenly Sirius’ eyes were wide open – one could almost see his dog ears perking up. He turned around and jumped out of bed immediately and hugged Remus, who was standing at the doorway, his robe looking freshly ironed. Come to think of it, he himself didn’t look like as if he had just spent the day outside his dorm either... he looked well-rested and clean, even though he hadn’t hit the showers...  
  
“I was only gone for a few hours Pads; you really don’t need to act like as if I just got resurrected.” Remus rolled his eyes, moving towards his trunk and away from Sirius’ arms.  
  
“But – you were gone and then I wanted to apologize and then James threw a pillow at me and then –”  
  
“Actually,” Peter interrupted, putting on his scarf, “I believe it was you that threw the pillow at _James_.”  
  
“Do you mind, Wormie? I’m telling a story,” Sirius said, glaring at Peter.  
  
“It sounded more like incoherent mumbling to me to be honest, Padfoot,” Remus said, smiling as he got his Arithmancy book out of his trunk.  
  
“I just...” Sirius blushed. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. About. You know. That. Yeah.”  
  
Remus turned to Sirius, still smiling. “It’s alright. I thought about it and... It’s alright. I realized that just because I might read into things, doesn’t mean you have to act any different – a lot of people touch their friends and it means nothing. I shouldn’t’ve let it get to me, so _I_ ’m sorry, Padfoot. It wasn’t even the touching really – that’s always a comfort – it was... I think...” his voice wavered a little and he blushed, “I think I was just jealous. Which was not your fault at all, seeing as you’re a young attractive man who can date if he wants to.”  
  
“You thought about this a lot, didn’t you? No wonder you were gone for so long – working on the perfect speech!” Peter said as he walked by and to the door. “Come on Pad, we’re gonna be late. I don’t want to clean all the tea leaves in the closet. Again.” He shuddered at the thought, for some reason.  
  
“I’m...” Sirius blinked a few times. “I’m not going Peter. You go ahead.”  
  
“But-”  
  
“I’ll just tell her that I had a prophecy last night and it wouldn’t let me sleep. Something dark and juicy – she’ll enjoy that.” Sirius was talking but his mind seemed to be elsewhere.  
  
“Fine.” Peter seemed a little annoyed. He would be, considering _he_ could never get away with that kind of thing. No matter how innocent he looked, he just wasn’t charming like Sirius. Oh well. At least he could get away with napping a little in History of Magic, the class after Divination.  


* * *

  
“Remus,” Sirius said, after Peter left. “I... So you... Okay.”  
  
Remus laughed. “You really do need to get some sleep, don’t you Padfoot? You haven’t called me Remus outside of a fight in ages...” He made his way towards the door. “I’ll see you in History of Magic Padfoot, try to get some sleep.”  
  
“Don’t go. You sleep too,” Sirius mumbled as he moved towards Remus’ bed.  
  
“Unlike you, I don’t trick my teachers into letting me skip class, Padfoot, and I don’t particularly enjoy detention, so...”  
  
“Tell them you feel sick. Because it’s so close to – you know...”  
  
Remus’ jaw tightened a little but Sirius with his head buried inside the pillow couldn’t see it. “I’m not going to use that as an excuse, Sirius. Ever. I thought I’d made it clear last time."  
  
It suprised Remus that as understanding and great as his friends were, they still managed to offend him in this way sometimes. He always told himself that they mean well, that it means they accept him fully and are not scared of him but it still hurt when it happened. Sirius should've known better than to tell Remus to use his lycanthropy as an excuse to skip a class. As if he didn't owe Dumbledore everything for letting him study in spite of it, as if he didn't already have enough to prove that it didn't affect him and that he could live amongst humans without issues.  
  
“But I don’t want to sleep alone,” Sirius said, sulking. Did Sirius ever have a non-childish reason to do something, Remus wondered.  
  
“Then just go to your bird’s house-” Remus started but was interrupted with an owl trying to kill Remus and himself by flying through a window and shattering glass all over the place.  
  
“I only know one owl that can be that stupid,” Remus scowled as he grabbed his wand to fix the window and clean the place up. After mumbling a few spells, he turned to Sirius, who was reading the letter.  
  
“I don’t think I can, Moony.”  
  
“Can what?” Remus asked, blinking.  
  
“Go to ‘my bird’s house’ since I apparently don’t have a bird anymore.” Sirius just threw the letter away and went back to bed.  
  
“What? She broke up with you?” Remus was surprised to say the least. At the same time though, he was thinking what a shame it was that he had had that row with Sirius for nothing – the witch was going to be out of his life by the morning! If he’d only known!  
  
“Yeah,” Sirius said in a clear voice – he didn’t seem very concerned, but he obviously wasn’t sleepy anymore.  
  
“Over...a letter?” Remus sat down by the edge of the bed.  
  
“Yeah.” Sirius sighed, sitting up. “Maybe I _will_ go to Divination after all.” He shrugged, but made no move to leave the bed.  
  
“I’m sorry, Padfoot,” Remus said sincerely. As much as he hated Amy, he wouldn’t ever want to see Sirius sad, no matter what the reason was.  
  
“Yeah I know – I’d be sorry too, if I saw anyone else taking classes from that crazy woman,” Sirius said, and tried to laugh but his laugh came out as a weird noise.  
  
“You know what I mean Padfoot.”  
  
“Aren’t you going to be late for class Moony?”  
  
Remus looked at his watch. “Oh – bugger – yeah. Just...” He got up and walked towards the door. Just when he was about to leave, he turned around. “I really am sorry Padfoot. I know how much you liked her. Can’t you guys...talk it out or something?”  
  
Sirius shook his head, but didn’t say anything.  
  
“Okay I – I really need to go Pads but we’ll talk later, okay?” When Sirius didn’t answer, Remus waved and started running to his class, hoping the teacher wouldn’t be too mad he was five minutes late.  
  
Sirius sat down again, his eyes watering up a little bit. He had always said and known that he really, really liked Amy but... Even he hadn’t realized how much it would hurt for her to be gone from his life. To never walk around Hogsmade aimlessly, hand-in-hand, again. To never have someone who thought he looked cute with his excuse of a moustache, again. To never watch her laugh at something he had said, again. They seemed so irrelevant to Amy when put like that but – he had _loved_ spending time with her. She was a really good friend; always good for a laugh, always there for him if he needed the support – and she also was a very good lay. Sirius knew from experience that it was not easy to find a girl who could deep-throat.

Superficial as it might seem, all of these together made him love having her around. And he just _knew_ that he was going to miss her terribly if he never saw her again.

“Accio Amy’s letter!” He looked at the letter again.  
  
_Dear Sirius,_  
  
_These past few months have been...simply amazing. We have had so much fun. It’s just that we’re simply not in the same place right now. I’m looking for someone who I can go out with at any time of the day, without a curfew – I know you can sneak out of school and everything but... I’m just looking for something else in my life right now._  
  
_Thank you for the wonderful experience you shared with me. I hope you find someone suitable for your own needs, just like I hope I will find someone to suit my needs._  
  
_Lots of kisses_  
 _Amaryllis_

Sirius ran out of the dormitory and started running towards the stairs, trying to catch up with Remus, but when he finally did see Remus, he was already entering the classroom. He sat in front of the classroom until the lesson was over, thinking about the things he wanted to say to Remus.  
  
“Moony!” He called once the classroom door opened and students stated pouring out of it. “Moony, over here!”  
  
Remus walked towards him, looking surprised. “Padfoot? You didn’t go to Divination after all, huh? Alright, let’s go to History of Magic together. I don’t have my books though so we’ll have to stop by the dormitory to…” He stopped for a few seconds, raising his eyebrows, “Why are you looking at me like that?”  
  
“We need to talk, Remus.”  
  
“You…just said ‘Remus.’ Are you mad at me?” Remus seemed genuinely scared.  
  
“What? I – No, no I’m not mad at you, that’s not it at all… It’s kind of the opposite really…”  
  
“U-huh. Just tell me about it on the way to the dormitory; I can’t keep being late to classes all day,” Remus said, starting to walk, and gesturing Sirius to do the same.  
  
“I think we should go out.” That stopped Remus.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I think we should go out, since you have a crush on me an' all.” Apparently this wasn’t enough of an explanation since Remus just kept staring at him like a goldfish, the hint of a blush on his cheeks. “I was thinking about Amy, and the things I liked about her and I just… I realized that what I liked about her was that I could be friends with her, laugh and joke and mess around and… I do all that with _you_ , too. I think we should give it a shot. We're great friends, you're gay so obviously would like to sleep with me - I'm _everybody's_ type after all - why not?”  
  
“I think you’re completely insane.” Remus turned around and started walking again.  
  
“Tell me something I don’t know!” Sirius said, catching up with Remus and walking with him.  
  
“No, this – this just – No. You’ve done crazy things before Black, but this one is a definite no. Just… No.” _Great_ , Remus thought, _this conversation is what I get for my frankness earlier. Lesson learned: Always be secretive when it comes to attraction._  
  
“I thought you liked me!”  
  
“Yeah well I like our relationship as it is.” _And it only took me all night to convince myself of that_ , he finished his sentence in his head.  
  
“A-ha! So you admit that there _is_ a relationship,” Sirius said happily.  
  
“Yes, Sirius, there is a relationship: the kind we call _friendship_.”  
  
“But how can a relationship be a friendship? That’s like apples and potatoes.”  
  
Remus stopped and just looked at him weirdly. “I don’t think I want to know what you just meant.” He started walking again. “In either case, my answer is a very, very definite no. No, I won't go out with you. No.”  
  
“You’re so- so- _aggravating_ , Moony. Like a bloody girl – I don’t want you and you’re sad, I want you and you’re mad – I don’t know what to do with you.”  
  
“Which is exactly why we are _not_ dating Sirius,” Remus scoffed and started walking a little faster.  
  
“That’s a brilliant idea! Before we jump into a relationship, we date!” Sirius grinned.  
  
“No, Sirius we don’t. Merlin just – just leave me alone, Sirius,” Remus sighed. “Please.”  
  
“But-”  
  
“If you make me be late to another class, Sirius, I _will_ start taking points off Gryffindor,” Remus said in his ‘I’m a very pissed off Prefect’ voice.  
  
Sirius seemed sad for a few moments but then just let out an aggravated sigh and turned to the left, going to the History of Magic classroom.  
  
_Who said guys were easier to deal with?_ he thought to himself.  


* * *

  
“James, you utter and complete _prick_.”  
  
James grinned. “Found those chocolate frogs at last?”  
  
“What? No I – what chocolate frogs?” Remus glared at him. “ _What chocolate frogs, James?_ ”  
  
“Oh, nothing. Just. Nothing.” He gave Remus his best innocent smile.  
  
“As if I needed more reasons to be mad at you.”  
  
“Why is everybody mad at me lately?” James whined. “Sirius gets mad at me for not staying up all night worrying about you, Peter gets mad at me for spilling tea on him in Divination-”  
  
“You had that one coming, Prongs!” Peter said. “I already got my face burned today – we had agreed that we wouldn’t give any Marauder a _second_ injury within the same day of the first. Remember? After Moony threatened to ‘find us and kill us if he could ever walk again’ last May?”  
  
“It wasn’t my fault! She predicted it would happen, so I had to make it happen!”  
  
“I might just have to give Lily back her ribbon then!”  
  
“What is it with you guys and the ribbon? Can’t you let me have _one_ thing that’ll be kept out of your stupid pranks?” James frowned.  
  
“Not really, no, that’s not how it goes, mate,” Remus said. “And anyway, don’t you even want to know why you’re about to be eaten by a werewolf?”  
  
Remus didn’t make a lot of werewolf violence jokes.  
  
“Er – why… Why am I about to be eaten by a werewolf?” James said, looking really scared.  
  
“Because you told Sirius that I liked him,” Remus growled.  
  
“Oh come on, everybody already knew _that_ one,” James rolled his eyes.  
  
“Not Sirius. _He_ didn’t know, and I _liked_ it that way!”  
  
“I’m sorry Moony. How can I make it up to you?” James said with fake-concern, "Do you need me to come up with a potion so you grow some balls?"  
  
“Not quite what I was thinking, but it does give me an idea... Do you have any Mud Shots with you?” Remus said, suddenly grinning.  
  
“Yeees… But I’m a little scared to give it to you,” James said, raising one of his eyebrows.  
  
“Just give it to me,” Remus said, as they approached the classroom door.  
  
“Okay,” James sighed. He gave the bottle to Remus and closed his eyes, preparing for the worst.  
  
While he was waiting, Remus ran inside the classroom and walked up to Sirius. He opened the bottle.  
  
“Hi Padfoot,” he said, grinning. As he raised his hand to empty the bottle on a wide-eyed Sirius, Peter jumped and tried to get the bottle off his hand. Unfortunately, this just made the whole bottle spill on Sirius.  
  
“ _What_ exactly do you think you’re doing, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew?” said a drowsy noise behind them.  
  
At that moment it dawned on Remus: The teacher was in the classroom. He looked at Sirius, whose hair started falling down to the ground in huge patches.  
  
_Oh I’m in big trouble, aren’t I?_ he thought.  
  
“Detention, for both of you, for the next two weeks. You’ll be dusting my History books. One by one. Every single page.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus both think about each other and James gets a present for Lily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Talk about masturbation and some sex talk as well. Overall I would say... PG-13 I think? Nothing too graphic, but explicit description of masturbation.

It’s interesting how when people are really close friends, fights, problems – any sort of drama seems to disappear in time. Of course, if any of them gave their fights any thought, they’d remember them, it’s not that they forgot them… They just woke up one or two days later asking the other if they had enough time to get some sleep before the first period, or if they could borrow the other’s Transfiguration homework.  
  
“It’s not _funny_ , James. Tell me where they are,” Remus said, sounding somewhere between tired and desperate.  
  
“You know the rules Remus; something that’s hidden stays hidden until the person supposed to find it finds it. I’m not telling you where it is – or giving you hints or any of that. They’re meant for _you_ , yes, but you need to find them on your own,” James said, sounding like a teacher explaining a very complex spell.  
  
“You’re an idiot.”  
  
“I’ve been told so, yes.” James grinned, apparently not offended at all.  
  
“You do realize I could die?” Remus said, gravely.  
  
“If you eat them, maybe. I don’t think you will though. They’re not _that_ cleverly hidden,” Peter chipped in.  
  
“So you’re in on this too?” Remus said, sounding betrayed.  
  
“Well, yeah. It was an opportunity not to be missed!” Peter was talking like as if it was a trip to France or a chance to go to the Department of Mysteries.  
  
Remus glared at James. “Corrupting innocents. You _disgust_ me.” James actually was able to keep his face straight for longer than Remus. In the end they just started laughing, Remus rolling his eyes.  
  
“How did I end up with you guys?” Remus pondered out-loud as they were making their way down the stairs to play Wizard Chess.  
  
“I don’t know either – the gods must really love you, Lupin!” Sirius grinned from the bottom of the stairs.  
  
“We were wondering where you’d run off too!” James said, giving Sirius a light slap on the head when he passed by him.  
  
They played a little Wizard Chess – tournament style, James won – and then just scattered over the dormitory. Remus to read a book, James to annoy Evans, Sirius to try to get laid and Peter to try and save James from Evans’ curses.  
  
“So, I’m thinking – What would you buy Evans as a Valentine’s gift, Remus?” James asked, walking towards Remus and looking pointedly at his Remus’ legs, asking him silently to move them so he can sit on the couch too.  
  
“ _I’m_ thinking that this is a wonderful book. Even _you_ would like it. It has pigs that run a farm in it,” Remus said, as if he hadn’t even heard James. He _did_ move his legs to leave him enough space to sit though.  
  
“Seriously, Remus.”  
  
“You know, it is so funny that _Sirius_ is never _serious_ …” Remus wondered how long he could delay this conversation.  
  
“Moony! Come on, take me seriously. You’re the only one of us who Evans cares for. Help me.”  
  
“Valentine’s Day isn’t for another three months, James," Remus sighed.  
  
“Who said it was a Valentine’s gift?”  
  
“You did, you said—”  
  
“For a man in love, Remus, every day is Valentine’s.”  
  
“I sure don’t feel that way,” Remus muttered.  
  
“What?” James asked, just to receive a big book on the back of his head. He turned around to see who it was, and was surprised to see that it wasn’t Sirius but, indeed, Evans.  
  
“Leave Remus alone, Potter. Obviously he doesn’t want to talk to you,” she scoffed.  
  
“We were just talking, my love – no need for you to get so jealous! You know my eyes are only for you!” James said in his ‘girl-bagging’ voice as Sirius called it.  
  
Evans just rolled her eyes and walked over to Remus. “Oh my, Orwell? Aren’t you a little old to be reading it for the first time?”  
  
“Well, technically no, since a lot of the references I don’t think kids would understand unless told out-right. There is also the whole part where muggle literature is unfortunately not appreciated much in the magical world. I’m lucky Hogwarts has such a huge selection of it – the things they are missing, they don’t even know!”  
  
Evans blushed a little, and looked away. It reminded James of Remus, how he looked when they said something like ‘werewolves are cool!’ She was flattered that he liked muggle literature, but wasn’t happy to be reminded that she was a muggle-born.  
  
Remus must’ve caught up too, because he quickly changed the subject. “Anyway, did you ever end up finding that box?”  
  
“Actually, no. I can’t believe Potter didn’t have it, I was so sure…” she frowned, but did seem relieved that the subject had changed.  
  
“Wait what? That I didn’t have what? How did you know I didn’t have it?” James asked, confused.  
  
Remus grinned. “We went through your stuff to see if it was there.”  
  
James seemed shocked at first, then started snickering. “So, Evans, going through my stuff now? I have to admit I’m flattered, but isn’t that a little stalker-like?”  
  
“Oh shut up Potter, I just wanted to know if you had it or not.” Before he could ask, she added: “It’s my music box. I had gotten it when I was really little.”  
  
“You can buy music boxes for like two galleons,” James said, sounding confused as to why this was a problem.  
  
“Yeah but… This was a muggle one. And they don’t produce that brand any more. It’s not that important really…” She blushed again. “I just didn’t want you having it.”  
  
“Why would I want to steal your box?” James seemed offended. If it had been panties it would be one thing, but a box? A muggle one, no less?  
  
“I don’t know. You rarely make sense. Unless you’re a glam boy, I don’t see why you needed my ribbon either.”  
  
“Who says I have your ribbon?” James knew how to act innocent so well. He hadn’t even twitched an eyebrow when she mentioned the ribbon.  
  
“I found it, Potter. I had casted a spell to draw my possessions out – I wasn’t actually going to touch anything that belonged to you, obviously. Infested, all of them, I’m sure.” She made a face as if she’d just taken a bite out of a particularly sour lemon.  
  
“I see.” James seemed thoughtful, but offered no apology or explanation.  
  
“Anyway, I have to study Transfiguration so—”  
  
“You should just let me teach you. I’m telling you, no book is better than me,” James sighed.  
  
“But books don’t try to unhook my bra while I’m studying,” Evans said in a casual tone.  
  
“You’d be surprised…” James grinned.  
  
“You do realize you just gave him a green light to make that happen, yes?” whispered Remus.  
  
Evans cursed under her breath and walked away, muttering to herself. When would she learn to just completely ignore Potter? When? She sighed and started reading about turning mice into oranges.  
  
“A music box then.”  
  
“Hmm?” Remus seemed to be paying deep attention to his book, not really listening to James.  
  
“I’ll give her a music box. Thanks Remus.”  
  
“No problem, mate.” Then he looked up, as James started running towards the door. “Wait! Thanks for what?” he shouted, but he was too late, James had just ran out the door.

 

* * *

 

 

The thing about not having a girlfriend was that it made Sirius' mind wander more than he wanted it to. Before he had had a great direction to point his... "affections." He had tried to masturbate thinking about Amy but it felt wrong, somehow. The pain had dulled and he wasn't pining for her but she still wasn't a random girl. He didn't want to think of her body if they weren't together any more. He would think about other girls but it always took him a while to actually enjoy himself and finish. He didn't feel attracted enough to any of them, which is why he also hadn't gotten laid in a while.

After James told Sirius about Remus' crush on him, Sirius had been thinking a lot about it. Why  _had_ he been touching Remus so much? He knew the simple answer: It felt good. The more complicated answer was that it felt good in the same way it had when he was twelve and had found a muggle bikini catalogue. Good in the same way when he had rubbed himself on his pillow when he was eleven, knowing that it felt good but not quite understanding why.

Touching Remus felt good in a sexual way that was new to him. There weren't thoughts of blowjobs or sex - just skin against skin, and being close. Not romantic, either, he was sure. The first time their hands had touched Sirius had of course wondered if he had a crush since his heart was beating faster. But he came to realize that it was more physical than that.

Until James had told him about Remus' crush, Sirius most definitely had not thought of sex with Remus. He'd thought of touching him and his heart beating faster, but nothing more. Afterwards, though... Slowly his mind kept going into dangerous territory. When he had asked Remus to go out with him he had been trying to distract himself, not giving it much thought and Remus had seen right through it. But now that he  _had_ thought about it, he wondered if Remus would let Sirius kiss him.

The day Sirius' bed time fantasies shifted from girls to Remus was when he accidentally entered the dorm showers when Remus was in there too.

 _He had been kicked out of Divination class and returned to the dormitory early. Remus must not have been expecting it and was showering, or so Sirius thought. Sirius hadn't meant to sneak up on him - he was simply walking with the quiet grace of a Black that he always had (_ Not stomping like Wormie _, he thought to himself). Just as he was about to turn on the water, he'd heard it._

_Remus' moan. He then realized that it wasn't just the shower water he was hearing. When he paid attention, he could hear the distinct sound of what sounded like a hand slapping against water._

_Remus was masturbating._

_Sirius froze, not daring to move. He tried to control his breathing as he listened to Remus groan._

_Remus was stuck in his own head, his own fantasy. He was imagining Sirius on his knees in front of him, panting as he licked and sucked on Remus' cock. Remus had his eyes closed and was so in the moment that he could smell Sirius. He could almost feel his raven locks between his fingers as he pulled imaginary-Sirius' head closer to himself._

_When Remus came with a small whimper, he opened his eyes and the imaginary Sirius was gone._

_Except... Remus could still smell him. After a few seconds of post-orgasm relief he finally realized what that meant. His eyes opened wide and his head snapped up. He looked around, an instinctive reaction he had developed to not scare people (as he could always tell where somebody was and it creeped other kids out). Sirius was in the shower stall right next to him. Now that he was paying attention, Remus could hear Sirius panting, trying to breathe slowly._

Of course Sirius hadn't known that it was him Remus was thinking about, but he guessed that it might be. Even  _if_ Remus had grown out of his crush, Sirius was undoubtably attractive so it was very likely that Remus was thinking about him when he masturbated.

Since then, the sound of Remus' groans in the shower came to Sirius' mind often. He thought about what it might be like to have Remus touch  _him_ instead of his own cock. Somehow, the thought of Remus getting him off made him come faster than any other fantasy he had had.

* * *

Remus got up and started walking towards their room. He couldn’t read any more. It was the part of the book where some animals were killed by the dogs. He just felt queasy. It wasn’t a pleasant image. Just when he was about to enter the room, he suddenly felt someone pressing up against him, holding the sides of his waist, and pressing themselves against him.  
  
“What-” he started.  
  
“It’s just me, Moony,” Sirius whispered. After a few moments of Remus staying there frozen and Sirius not moving, finally Sirius let go, laughing. “You’re so funny when I do things like that. You look so scared!” Internally Sirius thanked Merlin that he had just had a wank or else he would have had an erection. He tried to remember how exactly pressing his groin against Remus felt and filed it away for future use.  
  
“I need to study, Sirius. We’ll talk later, yeah?” Remus stuttered.  
  
“Actually, I was about to tell you that we need to go to detention,” Sirius said, surprised that Remus had actually forgotten. Then again, Remus rarely got detention and two weeks was a long time for one to last.  
  
“Oh. Oh crap. You’re right. Let me just change my clothes real quick and I’ll come.” Remus nodded a few times and went in, looking through his clothes, wondering how he had ended up with two weeks of detention while Peter - for possibly the first time in his life - had managed to talk himself out of it.  
  
“Why would you change your clothes? Getting all prettied up for Mr. Binns, huh? Who knew – apparently you’re not asexual, you’re just into ghosts!” Sirius laughed, jumping on to his bed.  
  
“I just don’t want my robes to get all dusty, that’s all. I’m surprised you’re not fretting all over the place complaining about how your clothes and hair will get messed up,” Remus said while putting on some clothes behind his curtains. Sirius had gotten detention from Binns the next day, and had somehow convinced him that making him help Remus would be a good idea. 'Friends working an argument out through good honest work,' he had said. _Is there any person immune to his charms_ , Remus had wondered.  
  
“Oh. I hadn’t thought of that, I guess.” The truth was, Sirius was looking forward to this. Two weeks of an hour a day, alone with Remus. The possibilities… He could touch him – annoy him – as much as he wanted to. They could just laugh and have fun.  
  
While dusting.  
  
“That’s very unlike you,” Remus muttered, coming out. “Alright, let’s go Padfoot. We have papers to dust!”

* * *

 

After forty five minutes of dusting in silence, Sirius had had enough. Actually, he’d had enough within the first five minutes, but he had been able to hold himself until now.

The first few days of detention had been surprisingly easy to pass by. After the initial anger and a few curses, they'd settled back to joking and planning future pranks, as usual. This was the fifth day though and they had mostly run out of things to say. There wasn't any interesting new development, James was too busy with Quidditch practice to work on any pranks until after the semi-finals. So they dusted quietly and waited for the end of their detention to roll around.  
  
“You know, Remus. If I was gay… Would you be into me if I was gay?” he asked, not looking at Remus.  
  
Remus put his hand on Sirius’ forehead. “You don’t have a fever. Okay. So what is wrong with you? James give you a mudshot again?”  
  
“Why would you say that?” Sirius frowned.  
  
“I already _do_ like you, Padfoot, you _know_ that. In fact, you asked me out just last week,” Remus said slowly, as if talking to a child.  
  
“Yeah but. That was… That didn’t count.”  
  
“How did it not count?”  
  
“You didn’t really like me.”  
  
“What the bloody hell do you mean? Yes I did. I do. Do you just enjoy me repeating it, feeding your ego nicely, am I?” Remus sounded annoyed, and went back to his dusting, his jaw looking as if it might crack any second.  
  
“I think you just wanted my body," Sirius grinned, throwing his hair back as if to show just how attractive he was.  
  
There was a minute’s silence in which they both just dusted. Then Remus said, slowly, “You didn’t just say that, did you?”  
  
Sirius actually blushed a little bit at that. “Well, that’s what I think.”  
  
“So you think I just want to bone you?” Remus looked at him, half-surprised.  
  
“Well… Yeah. You don’t… like me the way I liked Amy,” he said, slowly.  
  
Remus looked confused, and dusted a few more pages before turning to Sirius again. “If you need… Need a distraction from the hurt, just start boning one of the girls that are cooing over you.”  
  
“I don’t need a distraction.”  
  
“Then why are you doing this, Padfoot? I don’t want to play this game anymore. I like you, I have a crush on you, whatever you want to call it. And you love Amy and can’t just get over her in a flash, and that’s understandable. She broke your heart. Distracting yourself won’t make it go away. It’ll just keep bothering you from the back of your mind. Just deal with it, like everybody else does. Be sad for a while, then the pain will eventually numb down.”  
  
“You talk like as if you’ve had your heart broken before,” Sirius said, half-questioning.  
  
“I have,” Remus said, thoughtfully.  
  
“Oh come on, I don’t count, we weren’t even going out.” Sirius rolled his eyes.  
  
“Who said it was you that broke my heart?”  
  
Sirius gasped. “It was someone else?” For some reason it had never occured to Sirius that Remus was a sexual being, let alone somebody who had romantic relationships. Remus was... Remus.

Sirius thought about the time he had caught Remus masturbating. Maybe it hadn't been Sirius that he had been daydreaming about...  
  
“Yes.” When Sirius just kept looking at him with wide eyes, he elaborated: “His name was James.” Sirius opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Remus continued in an annoyed tone, “Not _our_ James, you idiot. A different James. He lives close to my house. We’d just ran into each other when I was out to get some coffee for mom. And… We had a lot of fun together. It was great. We wrote each other letters almost every day – met every Hogsmade weekend. But it just didn’t work out.” Remus shrugged. “It’s never easy to keep long-distance relationships, or so I hear.”  
  
“Wow. I never knew.” _That you had even kissed someone before_ , Sirius continued his train of thought silently.  
  
“Yeah…” Remus shrugged. The memory didn't hurt as much anymore and he was happy for the experience. At the very least, it had kept his mind off of Sirius for a while.  
  
“When was this?” Sirius asked, pouting a little.  
  
“We broke up last May. It had started the June before that,” Remus said, nodding and looking at the ceiling as if thinking, but of course he remembered the dates perfectly. The wound wasn't _that_ old.  
  
“Oh. So you only started liking me recently then?” Sirius asked.  
  
“You are _so_ very self-centered, did you know that, Padfoot?” Remus chuckled. Of course Sirius was curious because in his mind everything revolved around him. “Well, not really," he answered honestly, "I’ve liked you since I was thirteen but—”  
  
“How can you just like somebody else then?” Sirius asked, raising his eyebrow and tightening his lips.  
  
Remus blinked at him a few times, looking like a goldfish. Then he said slowly, “So you think, just because I like you, I will live miserably for the rest of my life, waiting for you?” _Sirius, the man-whore of Hogwarts is surprised people can be attracted to two people at once._ It almost made Remus chuckle.  
  
“Well—”  
  
Just then, Peter barged in, grinning like a Jack-in-a-box. “I can’t believe you guys haven’t noticed yet,” he smiled. When they just raised their eyebrows at him, he went on, seeming extremely pleased with himself; “I took Binns’ Fairy Paper-Holder. He’ll come back to end your detention in fifteen minutes and notice it gone, he loves that thing.”  
  
Remus got up and walked towards Peter, seemingly calm, but his heart beating fast. “Wormtail… You could get us into a lot of trouble, mate. You did well, showing us you’re a true Marauder. But you know where lies the true secret to being a good Marauder and Gryffindor?”  
  
“I won’t fall for that one again, Moony,” Peter snorted. There was a few seconds of silence and Peter finally decided to pity them, a little bit. “All I can say is, it’s in a tower.”  
  
“Bloody hell, Wormie, what do you want from _Moony_? Me, I understand – my amazing charm and brilliance have obviously caused much envy on your part, but what did poor Moony do to you?” Sirius drawled, seeming a little bored, but getting up and moving towards the door anyway.  
  
“Let’s go Moony,” he called.  
  
“Go where? There’re six towers in the castle! We can’t just check them all in ten minutes!” Remus said.  
  
“It’s in the Astronomy Tower,” Sirius responded, matter-of-factly.  
  
“How do you know?” Remus asked, seeming suspicious.  
  
“Oh come on Moony – Wormie isn’t _that_ original, not yet. It needs years of training like me and James to be a mastermind that cannot be guessed, that cannot be stopped,” Sirius said, as if explaining the conquests of a king. Remus got the feeling that Sirius was sparing Peter’s feelings by adding the last bit, instead of just saying that Peter was too uninspired or stupid or – None of that really mattered right now. Binns could be back in minutes!  
  
“In any case, can’t hurt to look there, I don’t think Binns will be any softer on us if we’re here when he comes back but the paper-holder isn’t.” Remus nodded.

* * *

  
“Here,” he said, in an uncharacteristically calm voice, “It’s for you.”  
  
“If this is another one of your silly—” Lily started, turning to face James, but stopped when she saw what he was holding. It was a music box. A muggle one. “Where did you even… find this?”  
  
“I bought it from a little shop that sells muggle and magical antiques. The witch assured me that this was a hundred percent muggle, but that it was really old so it was a perfect place to hide spells in.”  
  
Lily looked at the box for a little while before speaking. “Thank you, James. I don’t know what else to say. It's even the same brand...” When she looked up, she saw that James, for the first time, was actually smiling at her. Not smirking or grinning but smiling. She felt warm, seeing that smile. “I guess you’re not a complete lost cause,” she chuckled.  
  
“I knew you’d come around one day!” James grinned, getting back into his usual self. “It was just a matter of time, really. How could you deny the Potter charm for long?” He chuckled, and, surprisingly, so did Lily. Then he looked to his left, as if expecting someone to appear right there, and then just waved at Lily and left.  
  
Lily opened the music box and listened to its tune for a little bit, smiling to herself. Then she closed it, and looked at the fireplace, sighing. _I can’t believe that complete arse could be so sweet,_ she thought, _Who knew?_  
  
After a few minutes of staring at the fireplace, suddenly her expression changed, turning into a rather confused one. “Hold on… When did he even go to buy this thing? He didn't even know what brand it was, just that it was muggle-made!”  
  
She got up, holding the box in her right hand as if it were a weapon. “I swear to Merlin I’m going to murder that boy, I am. So it **was** him that took it. Sneaky little—”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More jealousy and Lily gets her revenge!

As they made their way to the Astronomy tower, the tension between them forgotten for now, Remus couldn’t help but be happy. Sure he loved quiet nights with a good book and calm, lazy weekends but this - pranks, mysteries, danger - was what made them all, well, Marauders. He loved how fast his heart was beating as they tried to make it onto a flight of stairs before it moved, he loved how they weren’t even sure if the paper-holder was there. He looked behind him to see Sirius seemed to be enjoying this as much as he was, grinning as he ran.

“Are you really sure it’s there? If it is, we could actually make it, it’s still 6 minutes until he’s back and we’re almost there,” Remus said between breaths as they ran up the last flight of stairs leading to the tower.

“Of course it is,” Sirius snorted. He didn’t sound out of breath even though he wasn’t much of a runner. _Always composed, always cool, Sirius Black,_ Remus thought to himself, _How does he do it?_ “No way Wormie thought of somewhere else.”

Except that, somehow, he had. Or at least it seemed that way.

They looked, and looked but couldn’t find a trace of the paper-weight. _Accio_ -ing didn’t work either. Every place they looked that didn’t have it made them more and more anxious. It went from a fun hunt to a desperate search.

After Remus looked at the last box of Astronomy supplies to find nothing, they shared a “uh-oh” look and bolted down the stairs at the same time, without a word.

At the bottom of the moving stairs, before they could decide which tower to try next, they noticed Peter standing with a smug grin on his face. “Looking for something?”

“We have 3 minutes left Peter - you’ve gotta tell us,” Remus replied, trying to sound calm.

“Not until you say the right words,” Peter replied in a sing-song voice. Sirius ignored him and started looking at the stairs with a calculating look on his face.

Remus sighed. “You are the best Marauder that ever was. Your pranking prowess knows no end.” Remus couldn’t remember the last time James and Sirius had had this exchange, but he hoped the words were close enough.

Peter laughed and shook his head. “Thank you for that but not what I was looking for. No points to Gryffindor. Now run before Binns is back! You don’t want him doubly mad at you, do you?”

Remus started plotting Peter’s murder in his head while he turned around and said to Sirius “Let’s go.”

Sirius, to Remus’ surprise, was smiling, and did not look worried anymore. “Sure,” he mumbled, as he started walking back. “It’s not that far, we can probably just walk.”

_Accepting our defeat with a smile, I guess,_ Remus thought to himself.

When they returned to Binns’ library, the paper-weight was in the middle of the room. Remus was shocked for a second before he understood what had happened. He smiled. He couldn’t help but be proud of Peter. This was the sort of prank James usually managed - mean but harmless. Sure he’d made them sweat, but in the end he wasn’t getting them in any more trouble.

“He’ll pay for this,” Sirius said calmly.

“Let’s not get hasty when we’re not even half-way through our _current_ detention,” Remus said but his tone suggested he himself was planning revenge as well.

* * *

Plotting their revenge gave Sirius and Remus something to talk about during their detention for the next week. Sometimes they’d spend a full hour discussing a completely insane plan that they knew they would never go with. It was still hilarious and fun to think about.

It also helped them avoid talking about anything else, which made Remus quite glad.

In the end, it was Peter himself who handed them the idea.

“Tomorrow’s the day,” he exclaimed as they were getting ready for bed. “I’m going to ask Cassandra out for the Hogsmeade trip this weekend!”

“So you’ve finally decided what you’re going to tell her when you see her?” James sounded amused and a little evil as he said it.

“Yup! Got it all worked out,” Peter was beaming. He’d been thinking about this for a while.

“Let me guess, you memorized a poem,” Sirius said sarcastically.  Remus couldn’t help but think for a moment that Sirius was a bit too mean to Peter sometimes. In fact, Sirius was often too mean to many people. Almost anybody except James and Remus, now that he thought about it.

“Quite the opposite, actually. I realized that as long as I don’t sound like a complete arse, it doesn’t matter what I say. It’s just a simple question in the end, worst she can do is say no.”

Sirius’ eyes lit up as he turned to Remus.

Yes, things would be fine, as long as he didn’t sound like an arse.

* * *

Sirius was in tears as they all watched a confused Peter attempting to talk, as all he could do was bray. Cassandra seemed less confused and more annoyed. “What are you doing, Peter,” she asked, irritated that this weird ‘conversation’ still wasn’t over.

Eventually Peter realized he wouldn’t be able to talk and turned around to his friends, glaring.

It wasn’t the first or last mean joke Sirius had ever planned and Remus had to admit he found it funny. He had not tried to stop Sirius at all as he researched (and cast) the spell for it which was often as close as the Marauders could get to a blessing from Remus to pull a prank on somebody.

Peter walked over to them and kept glaring at Sirius who, after almost a minute, finally stopped laughing and shook his wand, muttering. “There, you can talk now,” he said, grinning.

“That was really, really below the belt, Black,” Peter sighed. “Now I’ve lost any chance I had with her!”

“Oh come on, she obviously knows you didn’t hee-haw on purpose. Just run after her now, I promise you won’t be braying this time,” Remus said, looking at Sirius at the end of his sentence. “Right, Sirius?”

“Fine.”

* * *

Over the last couple of weeks things got less and less awkward between them. Sirius didn’t bring up the crush thing and even started dating on some Hogsmeade weekends, and Remus tried not to get jealous.

One Hogsmeade weekend the whole crew had gone to drink some butterbeers. Surprisingly, none of them had other plans such as Quidditch practice, dates or homework which was becoming rarer as the years went on. Remus said the next round was on him and as bad as they felt, they let him get up to bring the drinks. They knew Remus couldn’t afford much but if he offered he probably had enough money saved to pay for the drinks. It didn’t make sense to embarrass him by asking him not to do it. Only Sirius tried to protest a little “Oh come on, we all know my dad should bankroll all our expenses as penance for his sins!”

After a few minutes, Sirius sighed “Where is this guy? He’s been gone for ever.”

“I think he has more important things to do just now,” James snickered, pointing behind Sirius.

When Sirius turned around, to his surprise he saw Remus by the counter laughing with a Hufflepuff boy - sixth year, he thought. Remus seemed so… relaxed. Almost as much as he was in their dormitory joking around. Sirius had never seen Remus laugh and smile at non-Marauders before except for Lily Evans.

Sirius turned back around and looked at James. “What’s he doing?” He sounded genuinely curious. “Are they partners in one of Moony’s advanced classes or something?”

“I think that’s not the kind of partner they’re trying to be,” Peter snorted, then tried to drink the last remaining drops from his glass.

“What?” Sirius wasn’t so much asking a question as trying to show his shock. He turned back to look at Remus and the Hufflepuff before continuing. “What do you mean? They’re going out?”

“Not yet,” James replied, “But Moony sure has been trying. He’s been flirting as much as our dear ol’ Moony can, every chance he gets. I’m half-convinced he took some extra assignments to have an excuse to ‘get help’ from him.”

As Remus and the boy waved goodbye and Remus started walking back with a tray and a huge smile on his face, Sirius realized that James was right. Remus had been flirting. That was a look of “butterflies in my stomach” that Remus was wearing.

“So how was your boyfriend doing,” Sirius snarled.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “You’re welcome Padfoot, I’m always happy to buy my friends drinks every now and again.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent with similar exchanges and awkwardness that even James could not dissipate with his jokes. Sirius seemed intent on badgering Remus about the Hufflepuff boy (called ‘Argus’ apparently).

As they were heading back to Hogwarts, Sirius said “Who gets sorted into Hufflepuff? Seriously? Idiots, that’s who!”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake - _stop talking about him_!”

“I’m sorry Remus, does that hurt your feelings?”  
  
“What do you want from me? I’m trying to be civil about this while you’re trying your damnedest to ruin our day!” Remus was almost shouting.

“Well maybe you should have spent the day with _Argus_ instead of us! That would have been more fun I am sure!”

“You’re fucking unbelievable,” Remus sighed and stopped walking.

“Let’s just go Wormtail, these two have… things to talk about,” James said to Peter as they quickened their steps.

Sirius stopped as well and started glaring at Remus.

“Why are you so angry at me?”

“Because,” Sirius shouted, “You go around flirting with random idiots!” As he said it, he realized how stupid he sounded. How was it any of his business who his friends were flirting with? Sure, he made fun of James and Peter for their unreturned affections but he never got _angry_ at them.

* * *

A few minutes after they split up, Peter and James ran into Lily.

“Oh I’m so glad I found you,” Lily exclaimed as she walked towards them.

“As always, Lily my love,” James said, “It is a pleasure to see you.”

“I was thinking, Potter… I’m not - I’m not saying that I trust you now but I think maybe… Maybe we could study Transfiguration sometime at the library this week? We have this test coming up and I…”

“Of course. Nothing else I’d rather be doing,” James said, shocked and acting as surprised as James Potter can; which is to say his tone was not mocking or flirty.

“Great!” Lily turned around and got a smug smile on her face as she walked away from them. She’d get her payback on Potter. _Just you wait_ , she thought to herself. _You’re not the only one who can prank people!_

* * *

“First off, Argus is far from an idiot,” Remus replied calmly, “And second, I will not be single for ever and contrary to what you believe you don’t get to decide who I - or Peter - go out with.”

“Why would you even flirt with others? Why aren’t _we_ dating if you like me like you said you did?”

“We’ve been over this Padfoot,” Remus sighed, “And if you must know, I’m not dating Argus either. Yes, we have fun and yes, I sure would like to shag him but it’s not happening.”

“Why not?”

“He’s not interested,” Remus shrugged, blushing.

“Is that why you want him? Is that why you wanted me?” Sirius knew he was hurting Remus but he didn’t care. He felt upset and wanted Remus to feel the same. “You only want what you can’t have?”

To Sirius’ dismay though, Remus didn’t seem hurt, at least not in the way Sirius was trying. Remus looked up at Sirius with the same look he had had when they first told him that they knew he was a werewolf, and that they accepted him. “I’m just trying to find some happiness, Sirius, while I can,” Remus whispered softly.

Not knowing how to answer that, Sirius chose not to. They walked back in silence.

* * *

“Aaah I don’t know what to _wear!!_ ”

“James relax, just wear what you always do,” Peter said, raising an eyebrow. “You look fine.”

“No no no - my first date with Lily cannot be ‘fine!’ I must look excellent! Can’t just wear any old robe.”

“First off, none of your robes are older than a few months,” Sirius interjected, “And second, you could get any other girl in this school even if you wore the worst robe ever seen.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence Padfoot but this is different. This is _Lily!_ ”

“It’s also not a date, technically,” Remus pointed out, amused.

“It kind of is,” James protested.

* * *

It wasn’t difficult to find Lily in the library. James would notice those red locks anywhere. Her hair seemed to curve at the end in an even more delicate manner today. Had she put an effort into her looks too, he wondered. Maybe she had finally warmed up to him…

“Hey Evans,” he said as he sat down, trying to sound cool. He could never decide how to act around Lily. Cocky, like with other girls? Sweet, the way Remus seemed to get what he wanted? What would Lily prefer?

“Hey Potter,” she said as she kept writing in her notebook. “Please, feel free to have some tea, I just need to finish up this essay. Won’t take more than a minute.”

James helped himself to a cup that seemed to be meant for him. _Oh I’ve got this in the bag, she’s definitely into me,_ he thought. _Why else would she be this nice? She could’ve just made herself tea but no, she brought a second cup just for me._

As he drank and Lily wrote, James kept smiling. True to her word, Lily was done in less than a minute. She looked at him and asked “Alright, ready to start?”

“Yeah,” he said. In truth, he wasn’t, because he felt queasy. Was it because he was nervous?

“You ok Potter? You don’t look so good,” Lily said, muffling a laugh.

James was confused, was there something on his face? Why was Lily trying not to laugh? As he thought that, he felt his lips burn. “Ah,” he yelled and touched his lips. They were growing three times their size. He couldn’t even talk and they didn’t seem done, they were still growing when Lily got up and grabbed her books.

“That’s so you can’t lie anymore, Potter,” she said, the laughter gone from her voice. “You’re not the only person who can pull pranks and you’re not a genius. You’re just mean and a liar.”

James looked as heart-broken as he could with lips four times the size they should be.

“Oh and also,” she added as she walked away, “Leave Severus alone.”

She felt empowered and good but her victory was bittersweet - she had truly hoped that Potter had changed, that he had grown up. It made her sad that he hadn’t.

* * *

Remus’ rejection was driving Sirius a little batty. He had stopped dating or even being civil to anybody that wasn’t already his friend. The ladies’ man Sirius was gone.

Remus couldn’t tell why this time it seemed to affect Sirius so much. Last time he didn’t mind and back then he was actually suffering because he had broken up with Amy. This was so… random.

As the days turned into weeks, Sirius’ attitude changed more and more. He became possessive of Remus in a subtle enough way that Remus couldn’t outright blame it on what had happened.

Sirius had always protected Remus and Peter from others so when he beat up a Slytherin and broke several bones because they had called Remus a “pansy,” Remus couldn’t quite blame him or accuse him of being over-protective.

And yet something felt off. Even James and Peter noticed and would often tell Sirius to ‘relax’ when it came to his attitude. Sirius would get into the role of a mother hen often, asking where Remus was going if he did anything at all without the rest of the Marauders.

As he grew more aggressive at Remus’ bullies and suitors, he became gentler and gentler with Remus himself. Sirius kept being as mean as ever to Snape and other kids in their year with James, but was more open to listening to Remus now if he told them to stop.

“But why,” he asked for the third time.

“Because, Sirius, I want to be alone then,” Remus sighed, “You know the deal, you guys can come in about an hour after, when the transformation is complete.”

“But I want to help,” Sirius moaned.

“I know you do Padfoot, but it wouldn’t help me. I’m grateful for your help but you can’t help during the transformation. It’s… personal.”

“You’re always so guarded,” Sirius huffed.

“With good reason…” Remus got up and left to meet Mrs. Pomfrey. He hated having to comfort others when he himself was trying to get ready for excruciating pain. He had to do it with his parents all the time at home, he didn’t need it from his friends also.

* * *

“And where do you think you’re going,” Severus snarled as Sirius was heading towards the castle’s rear exit.

“None of your business, Snivellus,” Sirius growled, trying to not sound surprised. The greasy bugger had actually managed to sneak up on him.

“Off to help Lupin with his ‘sick aunt,’ are you? Or what was it this month, his uncle?” Severus sounded so pleased with himself Sirius wanted to break his jaw.

“None. Of. Your. Business.”

“Oh come now, surely you don’t think I’m _that_ stupid. I know he has no sick aunt. The question is, though, where exactly does he disappear off to all the time?”

Sirius didn’t answer, he didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“You being here does change my theory a little bit, I have to admit,” Severus continued, “I thought he was doing something illegal down in Hogsmeade to earn money - we all know how much he needs it and he’s decent enough to brew a good potion - but then why would you go?”

Sirius couldn’t help but show some of his feelings. He pursed his lips and tried not to growl. What was Severus doing?

“Oh I get it. You collect the money?”

Sirius tackled Severus down and put his wand on his neck. “What was that, Snivellus?”

Somehow, Severus didn’t seem bothered. “Hit a nerve, did I, Black?” He chuckled. “I have to say, as evil as you are, I didn’t think you would take advantage of a friend - oh wait - of course you would.” Now he started laughing. “This is great. Wait until Lily hears about this. Finally she’ll lose whatever hope she had left for you bunch.”

“You wanna know what really happens when Remus goes away, Severus?” Sirius was growling now. It was no surprise his animal form was a dog.

“I know that he comes back bruised and tired as if he has been up all night. I’m guessing whatever spells he is casting or potions he’s brewing are very dangerous,” Snape replied and Sirius knew Snape had the experience to know. They all knew how interested Snape was in the Dark Arts and dangerous magic.

“Stop talking before I send you the hospital wing,” Sirius snarled, pushing his wand into Severus’ neck.

“Poor, weak little Lupin. I suppose being overshadowed by such legends like you and James makes him feel insecure, he just wants to have more money and fit in,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his every word.

Sirius got off of Severus and made to leave. As he started walking, Severus had one more thing left to say “Don’t act like you care about that coward peasant. He’ll never amount to anything anyway. I might get beaten up by you lot but he doesn’t even have the courage to stand up to his friends! Lily tells me about what goes on in your little clique, you know!”

“Coward?” Sirius laughed. “Coward? If you want to know just how cowardly he is, go to the Whomping Willow tonight. Prod the knot on the tree with a long stick or something. Then you’ll see. You’ll see what a coward he is.”

Severus’ eyes glistened as he smiled. He started running towards the forest.

Sirius smiled as well. _So he thinks Moony’s a coward, does he? Let’s see how brave that sneaky Snivelly is when he’s wetting his robes looking at a werewolf!_

It didn’t occur to Sirius what the repercussions could be until he ran into James in the dormitory and told him what happened. He had been expecting roaring laughter and a pat on the back from James, but that isn’t what happened.

“Are you trying to get Moony killed, Sirius?” James was furious as he put his cape on and ran as fast as he could to the Willow. He could only hope that he would be there in time.

“Killed?” Sirius was confused as he repeated James’ word.

“Of course,” Peter said in a grim tone, “What do you think happens to werewolves who have killed a human?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of The Prank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a much shorter chapter than the rest - but I didn't want to dwell too long on the sadness/angst, and it felt like an appropriate scene to cut off at.

Sirius and Peter walked after James. In an eerie way, they both knew there was no reason to run. If Snape could be saved, James would save him. If not…

Sirius was sure that Peter kept talking on the way, but all he could hear was his own heartbeat. It felt like he had been hexed with giant veins on his ears and blood pumping was all he heard.

As Peter’s mouth kept moving, Sirius’ thoughts ran wild. _Killed_ , he thought. _They would kill him for that?_

The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. They reached the closest window from which they could see the Whomping Willow. Peter sat on the windowsill, tired. Sirius looked out at the deceivingly calm willow. They knew what was going on inside; at least the potential. And yet on the outside, the night was quiet and the willow’s arms still.

As they watched James pulling a stunned Snape out of the willow, Sirius let out a breath he hadn’t realized that he had been holding.

“Isn’t he amazing,” Peter asked, in awe.

Sirius turned to Peter and saw that Peter’s eyes were sparkling, wide as he stared at his hero. Peter had always looked up to all of them, but James had been on a pedestal since they were eleven.

Sirius turned back to watch James check Snape’s condition, then un-stupefy him. Looking at the scene before him, Sirius knew that it was no wonder Peter idolized James. No wonder anybody did. For all his grand pranks and the trail of broken hearts left behind him, James Potter was the one person you would expect to be a hero in this school, if there was one.

No matter how much he had hated Snape, James had saved his life. That was James. Cruel but fair. He could have cursed Snape into a chicken for weeks but he would not send him to get killed by a werewolf.

 _Not like me_ , Sirius thought. _People like looking at me and I’m popular too, but not in the same way. James is the hero, the star, the leader._

It had never bothered Sirius. It didn’t bother him even now. But he had never felt the stark contrast until now. James was his brother, he had felt one and the same with him. And yet James wasn’t rash like Sirius. He would never have gotten angry at anybody and done what Sirius had done. James, the man with the plan. Sirius, the loyal follower.

 _In that sense, how much better am I than Wormtail?_ he wondered, glancing once again at Peter who was smiling down as he watched James walk back into the castle.

* * *

It took a full week for Remus to be allowed out of the hospital wing. They had even brought a specialist from St. Mungo’s.

None of the Marauders had been allowed to see him, but were given short answers by Madam Pomfrey that Lupin was fine and they had to go back to class now.

It took two months before Remus forgave Sirius.

Earlier in the day, Remus had made his first joke since The Prank, pleasantly surprising the rest of the Marauders. Until then, they had still been sitting together at meal times and classes but their conversations had been as closed and superficial as they had been when they first met as first years.

After Remus made a joke in Potions about the Alihotsy draught having the same shade of a hippogriff’s excrement, the rest had looked at him first with shock, then with grins.

“Messr Moony, toilet humor? Say you haven’t stooped to our level,” James had laughed.

Remus had shrugged, smiling.

That night, Remus sat down on Sirius’ bed as he was reading Quidditch Through The Ages. Sirius, not expecting this, had let out a surprised “what?”, unable to help himself.

Remus chuckled.

 _Leave it to Remus to be understanding, even when he should be beating me up as we speak,_ Sirius thought.

“I want you to know that it’s alright,” Remus whispered, not looking at Sirius.

“Moony I didn’t know-” Sirius started, throwing the book on the floor and sitting up to get eye-level with Remus.

“I know, Sirius,” Remus replied sadly, cutting him off. He took a deep breath and sighed before he continued. “I know you didn’t realize what you were doing. You just thought it would be funny, seeing him scared. James told me your side of the story.”

 _Yes,_ Sirius thought, _James is the planner, the mastermind - I get the ideas._

“I won’t lie, it hurts and it’s scary,” Remus continued, playing with his left fingers using his right hand, trying to busy himself. “But I know you didn’t want - you weren’t trying to kill anyone.” At that point Remus finally looked up with a desperate look in his eyes.

His eyes reminded Sirius of when Regulus had caught Sirius and James laughing at a second year old Slytherin they’d given a snout to. “Tell me you haven’t done this,” Regulus’ eyes had been begging Sirius as he helped his friend get up. Sirius still didn’t care about the scrawny Slytherin boy but he had felt bad about Regulus’ disappointment.

And Remus was wearing that very same look: Disappointed, betrayed and hoping against logic that Sirius would somehow explain all this away.

“I wasn’t,” Sirius agreed, knowing instinctively how to diffuse the situation, as he always did, “I really wasn’t, Moony. I was angry and he was calling you a coward. It just seemed so ludicrous - he was claiming to be braver than _you._ You who is more dangerous and brave then the slimy bastard can ever hope to be.”

“I _am_ dangerous,” Remus agreed with a broken smile.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Moony,” Sirius continued, “I just… I don’t know. I couldn’t get the image out of my head of him seeing you and peeing his pants, shaking like a leaf. When I think of you on full moon I don’t… I don’t think of some random werewolf, I think of _you._

“Moony that we run around the forest with, Moony that tackles a bloody stag to the ground playing.” He paused. He couldn’t help but smile when he added: “You know real life wolves know better than to mess with a stag when they’re all alone, right?”

Remus rolled his eyes and shook his head, the hint of a smile on the corner of his lips. “I suppose so,” he murmured. “What’s your point?”

“What I mean is that I didn’t think of you hurting Snape because you’re… you. You’re Moony the wolf we play around with once a month, not some vicious blood-thirsty creature like DADA makes it seem.”

An emotion Sirius couldn’t quite make out crossed Remus’ face before it regained composure. In a weird way, Sirius loved seeing it: Remus was always cautious and stone-faced and it thrilled Sirius whenever Remus showed more emotion than a small smile or chuckle.

“But Sirius,” Remus said slowly but surely, with the voice of a Professor talking to first years, “You must understand that I _am_ dangerous. The danger-” Sirius could have sworn Remus winced for a second. “The danger is both to myself and others. I _must_ be in control. You can’t make me feel powerless like that. I could have killed someone, Sirius…”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

* * *

Just like that, they were the Marauders again. And somehow, between all the drama of The Prank and reinvigorated rivalry with Snape, romance had taken a back seat. Remus still let his mind drift to thoughts of raven haired locks and Sirius finally announced himself as bisexual but neither of them were pining for each other anymore. The constant touching by Sirius was gone, as was Remus’ blushing whenever their hands happened to brush.

Another, more subtle change was that they seemed to be targeting Slytherins - or any specific people - less in their pranks. They planned (“and tastefully executed,” as James would put it) pranks that involved places or situations rather than people. Their latest had been charming all the tables in the Great Hall to melt if anybody touched them. Students had sat down that morning to eat to find everything they touch melt away, eventually all the food and wooden furniture ending up as big blobs of brown where tables used to be. They'd all had to eat outside for a full week and James and Sirius had not stopped grinning the whole time, it seemed to Remus.

Remus wasn’t sure if The Whomping Willow Prank was the reason, or their growing older or the slowly but surely increasing incidents involving Voldemort. Daily life had not been affected too much at Hogwarts because of Voldemort, but there was an undeniable shift in attitude from the students, particularly sixth and seventh years when it came to joking about Dark Magic or death. They had heard too many bad news about their friends and family to ignore the danger outside of the walls. Calling somebody a "mudblood" was no longer just a bad insult, it ended up with people fighting with their wands or fists if it was uttered.

No matter the reason, Remus was grateful that the bullying seemed to have come to a halt. James and Sirius still mocked Slytherins but weren’t actively going after them. For Remus, this meant he had to force himself to look away and pretend he's blind much less often. He’d never been brave enough to tell his friends - his friends who had accepted everything that he was - to be nicer to others. And now, he didn’t have to.

Except when it came to Snape.

Remus would have thought that Snape now having his secret and having been almost murdered be enough to make James and Sirius lay off of him, but they seemed even more aggressive with Snape. He had asked James about it once, who had shrugged and said “He likes Dark Magic. There can be no redemption for somebody like him.”

 _I’m kind of a Dark Magic, a Dark Creature,_ Remus hadn’t replied out loud.

* * *

 

It wasn’t until they met again at King’s Cross, beginning of seventh year, that Remus’ feelings hit him again like the Knight Bus. Time apart had somehow not weakened but strengthened his desire for Sirius, apparently. When he caught sight of the gently-tanned, movie-star-grin Sirius laughing and chatting with James by the train, he stopped breathing for several seconds.

 _Here we go again,_ he thought to himself. _Enjoy the crush ride one last year!_

Unbeknownst to him, Sirius’ thoughts were not far off of his either.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Year seven begins and all four boys are lost in separate thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter with very little Sirius/Remus. To be honest, you can probably skip this and not miss much of the story if you wait for the next chapter. I just wanted to give the Marauders some love.

James had been uncharacteristically quiet during the ride to Hogwarts. He would chuckle along at the others’ summer anecdotes and say a sentence or two, but he didn’t have nowhere near his usual level of enthusiasm.

“I don’t think I’m getting an owl from my mum for at least a week, she was too angry to even see me off today,” Peter said, grinning. He’d just finished telling them about his mother finding ‘inappropriate material’ in his bedroom.

“I’m conflicted,” Remus said, “On one hand, I am proud of you for having kept so much of the research we have accrued over the years - even though it was mixed with your back-issues of Voluptuous Veelas. On the other hand, it is extraordinarily foolish to not at least put a simple concealment charm-” Before he could finish, James cut him off with a cry:

“I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.”

Remus and Peter turned to look at James with shocked expressions. Sirius kept his eyes on the other two, and did not look at James. He was staring at them like the Cheshire Cat: with an impossibly big and sinister grin on his face, watching them as if they were about to perform a show.

After a beat of silence, Peter asked “Uh, you alright there, mate?”

“I just-” James started but his words failed him. He kept gesturing with his hands for a while as if he were still talking, but no sound was coming out of his mouth. He turned to Sirius with a desperate look on his face. Sirius’ gaze was stuck on the other two Marauders, and he did not seem willing to come to the flustered boy’s help.

“You just what, Prongs?” Remus asked, using his calm Prefect tone.

James closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. “I’m Head Boy,” he said in the end, his chest puffed up as if ready for a physical blow or fight. Sirius looked like a Niffler who’d seen a pot of gold. He was visibly shaking with excitement, wide eyes staring at the two Marauders to react.

Remus sighed. “Not funny, Prongs. You must have gotten rusty over the summer. Pranks work when people _believe_ them, remember? You can’t just say anything and hope people take your word for it. Where is the Prongs that spent three weeks subtly planting clues about Cure for Boils just so eventually the Professor would have us learn it, letting us get porcupine quill to use for much more nefarious potions? Where is the planning, where is the _thought_? Frankly, I feel insulted. Don’t you, Wormtail?” He turned to Peter as he finished his speech.

“I’d say I rather do, Mr. Moony,” Peter replied gravely, nodding.

James was now visibly blushing, cheeks and ears a deep shade of red. He kept moving uncomfortably in his chair, wordless. Noticing this, Peter gasped. Remus’ mockingly serious face gave way to a shocked expression again.

“No,” Peter whispered.

“Surely not?” Remus said softly, voice barely louder than Peter’s whisper.

James didn’t respond, only turned his head to look out of the window. His jaw was set either because he was gritting his teeth, or because he was trying not to open his mouth to start cursing and shouting. Remus couldn’t quite read his expression. It was a mix of embarrassment and anger.

Finally, unable to hold back any longer, Sirius burst out laughing. The other two were still too stunned to react themselves, so they just looked on as Sirius laughed hysterically, tears in his eyes. “I’ve been waiting-” he started saying between laughs, “I’ve been wai-” He gave up on forming a full sentence as he kept cracking up. “For you. Two. To. Find. Out.” he spat out between giggles.

James glared at Sirius but didn’t say anything.

“Are you serious?” Remus asked James, sounding worried more than anything else.

“No that’s him, I’m James,” he replied instinctively, and Remus could see him scolding himself internally for having said it.

“You can still talk, so that’s good news,” Peter said, then got up. He started looking at James as if he were a new beast they were studying in class, glancing up and down, studying him. “You certainly _sound_ like our friend Prongs, but there must have been something else going on. There is no way Dumbledore just up and made you Head Boy unless something _drastic_ happened over the summer. Did you - did you sign up for summer school?” He gasped. “Potter did you go to Hogwarts over summer break?”

James groaned.

Sirius’ laugh died down to a simple snicker, then he sighed a few times before speaking. “He didn’t go anywhere over the break,” he said, then continued after a pause. “I mean we did go to the summer house for a while but - no Hogwarts. Dumbly-door took a look at our dear Prongs in sixth year and said ‘This! This is the excellent student that needs to be Head Boy!’”

“I still don’t buy it,” Remus said, raising a bushy light brown eyebrow, “Wasn’t Prongs half-way through serving a detention at the end of our term? How is that Head Boy material?”

It was true. James had been caught luring away Hippogriffs from their paddock two weeks from the end of term and a furious Professor Kettleburn had yelled at how he was a thief and given him a month of detention, not realizing the amount of weeks left until the end of term.

“You think maybe it’s a prank? Somebody faked the letter?” Peter suggested.

“No such luck for our Goody Two-Shoes, I’m afraid,” Sirius said, trying very hard to sound solemn, “I saw the letter myself. It is unmistakably Dumbledore’s writing.”

“I don’t know if our headmaster is above pranking his students, to be honest,” Peter replied. James suddenly perked up, his eyes full of hope. Sirius frowned. They had apparently not considered this possibility.

“Could be, I suppose,” Remus said but he didn’t sound convinced.

Before anybody could comment further, the door opened and a very-annoyed Lily Evans peaked into the compartment.

“If you don’t get moving, you’ll be late to the meeting, Potter,” she said. It sounded as if the words were hurting her to say.

James - who was already sitting up straighter since she appeared - got up and stood in front of the redhead. After taking a second to gather himself, he shot her his usual cocky grin. “Already can’t wait to be around me, right Evans? Can’t say I blame you!”

She rolled her eyes and gave a small sigh. “Look, Potter,” she said, looking him straight in the eyes and talking slowly, “I don’t know what made the headmaster pick you, but if there’s anybody I trust in this school, it is him. He must see something that I don’t.” She paused. “I’ve made the decision to trust you.”

As soon as she was done talking, the boys started talking at the same time.

“Terrible decision.”

“And _now_ I know why you’re not a Ravenclaw.”

“Evans, even _I_ don’t trust me.”

“You are grossly over-trusting Dumbledore.”

She simply shook her head, sighed and turned around, waving for James to follow her and they walked out as the other boys fell into giggles.

“So,” Sirius said after a while of laughter and jokes at James’ expense, “Now that we have gotten some material to tease Prongs with - thank you for ‘Blowjob Boy’, Wormtail - we should focus on how this could actually help. I’ve wanted to discuss this with Prongs over the summer but it was too much fun watching him suffer thinking it would be the worst thing.”

“Yeah, Remus being a Prefect did help us a few times,” Peter said, nodding.

Sirius walked across and sat down with the other two, taking out a parchment with scribbled notes on it. “The obvious thing, of course, is to find out all Professors’ schedules,” he said, licking his lips and pointing at a line in his notes, “Even Prefects don’t have that kind of intel.”

The dark-haired boy went on about his grand plans of abusing James’ newfound position, but Remus didn’t hear any of it. When Sirius had sat down, he had done so right next to Remus and their legs had not stopped touching since. Remus tried to pay attention to Sirius’ words, he really did, but all he could think about was how good it felt to have Sirius’ leg two thin pieces of fabric away from him. He forced himself to not look at their touching legs and just found himself staring at the handsome boy’s face. How his full lips moved gracefully as he spoke, sometimes getting a short bite if Sirius paused to think about something. How his long eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks when he blinked, closing his beautiful grey eyes.

 _I’m doomed,_ he thought to himself, _I can’t spend a whole year like this._ He hoped his friends couldn’t see his heart trying to beat out of his chest.

 

* * *

 

They arrived at Hogwarts, chatting away happily and James joined them soon after. As soon as they saw the gates, they knew that they were home. Things felt normal, things felt _right_. They were able to forget about the news they’d heard over the summer regarding Voldemort and the ever-increasing attacks. They spoke of common issues like class schedules and finding Peter a new girlfriend as his last relationship had ended - rather violently - over the summer. He still had a bruise to prove it.

“So Wormtail,” James said as he watched his trunk slowly land at the foot of his bed, “You never did say what exactly Catty Cassy did to you.”

Peter winced. “I don’t want to talk about it. Like I said, it wasn’t pretty.”

“Right, right, but what did she say?”  
  
“Stop gossiping like a bird,” Remus groaned, “I’m the poof, not you, Prongs!” Sirius snorted.

“If I’m planning a revenge prank, Moony, I must know what I’m revenging for. It’s-”

“Oh no! No no no Prongs, no revenge!” Peter cut him off, fear written all over his face.

“As I was _saying_ ,” James continued, annoyed at the interruption, “It is crucial to the planning phase. I don’t _do_ random, you must know this by now, Moony. My pranks are precise, detailed, custom-tailored to the individual.”

“You threw a dungbomb at Snape on the train ride back to London last year,” Remus said dryly, “I wouldn’t exactly call that finesse.”

“Tried and true methods are used sometimes, yes,” James answered, nodding, “But there is still a reason behind it.”

“Which would be..?”

“Snivellus smells horrid, and I wanted to test if a dungbomb would even work on him, seeing as the odor isn’t that different. Had to be done so future generations could learn from our studies.”

Remus rolled his eyes and sighed, but smiled as he picked some comfortable clothes to change into from his trunk. He went into the washroom to change and heard the boys bicker for a while more. When he came back, Sirius had Peter in a head-lock and James was holding a quill in one hand, his wand (pointing at the quill) in another.

“Last chance, Wormtail,” he warned the squirming blond.

“Prongs just let it be,” Peter huffed.

“I almost have tears in my eyes from pride, Wormy,” Sirius joked, voice slightly strained from holding the restless boy, “Not only are you giving me an almost-fair fight, you’re also not snitching.”

“Snitches _do_ get stitches,” Remus said grimly as he approached the boys.

“But not when you’re simply _sharing information_ with your _bestest_ friends,” James told Peter, tone eerily similar to his mother’s when he spoke to him and Sirius.

“It’s done, Prongs, I don’t want to talk about it, it doesn’t matter what she did!” Peter complained.

“Oh, you’re still on this?” Remus asked, surprised.

“Yeah, he still hasn’t spilled. Some kind of rat you are, Wormtail. You’re not ratting out shit.”

Remus frowned and stared at the quill in James’ hand. “And you’re threatening him with..?”

“Rictubellua.”

Remus whistled. “Wow, Peter, mate, you sure you still love her enough to put up with _that_? Last time we did it Slughorn couldn’t stop it for almost an hour. I thought he was going to suffocate.”

“It’s embarrassing,” Peter mumbled.

“Rictu-” James started, waving his wand but Remus stopped him.

“Come on Wormtail, we won’t laugh. Probably.”

“I’ll laugh,” Sirius said immediately, raising one of his hands, the other still firmly holding onto Peter.

Remus frowned. “The dog will laugh, but the smart people in the room won’t.”

“Hey!” Sirius objected.

“Fine,” Peter sighed, giving in. He looked at the quill sadly. “Why did we ever come up with that spell? It’s horrendous.”

“For moments like these Wormy, for moments like these,” Sirius said and released his grip. Both of the boys sat down on Peter’s bed which was behind them.

Peter scratched his cheek, took a deep breath and said “I sent her an owl saying I wanted to take a break. She sent me a box. It had two bludgers in it that kept beating on me until my father finally managed to stop them after - I don’t even know how long, but I had two broken bones by then. I found the note inside the box later, it said ‘here’s a break’.” He shuddered at the memory.

Remus and Sirius were both staring at him, mouths gaping open. James’ mouth was moving as if to speak, but there was no words coming out of it for a while.

“Say something,” Peter sighed, “Get it over with. Beaten by a witch like a bitch. Can’t keep a bird. Do your worst.”

“Bloody hell mate, even I’m not that heartless,” Sirius said quietly, then patted the blond boy on his shoulder.

“Charming innocent Quidditch equipment to beat you is _not_ quite what I expected from her,” James added, “And most certainly doesn’t make you a bitch.”

There was some silence while the boys thought about what had happened and went back to unloading their trunks. The quiet was broken suddenly by James.

“Merlin’s saggy left ball, you need to start practicing your Protego skills immediately,” he told Sirius.

“What?” Sirius asked and tilted his head like a confused puppy.

“Cassy,” he replied, as if this was enough information for him to understand. It turns out, it was, and Sirius pouted.

“I’m not breaking up with anyone,” he mumbled. James had meant that Cassy would discuss her response to a break-up to other girls who might get the bright idea to do the same thing themselves.

“You will sooner or later,” James said, “It’s only a matter of… days? Maybe a week or two?”

Remus froze, his hands clutching onto the books in his hands too tightly, making his knuckles go white. James wasn’t wrong, Sirius did tend to create a rapidly growing hill of broken hearts as the term went on, usually.

“Not this year,” Sirius replied back cheerfully.

“Finally ran out of people to snog?” Peter asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Sirius shrugged. “More important things.”

They all assumed he meant the war and were quiet until it was time to go to dinner, but Sirius had mostly meant that he was done fooling around. Snogging random witches, groping nameless Quidditch players under the bleachers after practice - none of it mattered, and none of it would happen this year.

No, this year was the year he won over a certain werewolf who was innocently going over his schedule for tomorrow on his parchment as they walked to the Great Hall.

 _Poor bloke,_ Sirius thought happily,  _Won’t even know what hit him. He’ll be putty in my hands before the month’s over._


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius woos Remus. I split this chapter into two because it was getting ridiculously long. If you can believe it, this is me cutting down.
> 
> Also, I am doing an unreasonable amount of research for a light-hearted fanfic. Thankfully we are almost at the end! :)

One month hadn’t quite been an accurate estimate, because Sirius’ plan kept getting more and more elaborate and many things took longer than he’d wished.

 

**1st of September**

 

It would be an understatement to say that James was surprised when he was woken up by an already-dressed Sirius on their first day at school. He had been slapped across the face and when he opened his eyes he saw Sirius wiping his hand on James’ sheets.

“Eugh, Potter, you drool so much even your cheek is wet,” he was muttering.

“Wha- why are you slapping me in the middle of the night?” James groaned, rubbing his eye and reaching for his glasses with his other hand.

“It’s not the middle of the night, it’s ten past five.”

“Since when do you wake up before breakfast is even served?” James asked grumpily, but was getting up, assuming Sirius had a good reason to wake him.

“Since today,” Sirius replied and James got the impression that he was holding back a yawn.

“Well,” James said, stretching. He yawned loudly before continuing. “What’s the reason? What are we doing? Do I need a shower or is this a shower-after kind of plan?”

Sirius raised one perfect black eyebrow and waited a few seconds before answering, as if he thought the answer was obvious. “It’s ten past five, Prongs,” he repeated.

“Yeah I got that, so? Did I forget about something we were supposed to do?” He was frowning by the end, searching his brain for what they could have possibly planned to do on the very first morning back.

“Practice, of course,” Sirius said, his voice annoyingly casual.

“Oh,” James said and blinked a few times. “Er, I’m not going to start practicing until at least a week into the classes. I haven’t even seen any of the new players.”

“What do the new players have to do anything with your own exercise?”

James sighed the way McGonagall did when asked disappointingly simple questions. “Only everything. I don’t know what the team will be doing, what they will need from me. Every team is different; some need me aggressive, others need me to look out for the Seeker… So many different potential things to consider.”

“Don’t you usually jog, fly, practice batting, that kind of stuff?”

“Yeah,” James replied, looking embarrassed.

“Stop making excuses then Potter, and get dressed!”

“Why do you care?” James whined, “You always make fun of me when I practice.”

“Not anymore,” Sirius replied proudly, puffing out his chest, “From now on I will join you.”

“Why?” James asked suspiciously, looking the dark-haired boy up and down, trying to understand his motive.

Sirius shrugged. “Can’t hurt,” he said, looking away, “As dashing as I am, I don’t quite have the best body that I could.”

James raised an eyebrow, but didn’t inquire further. Instead, he got dressed and decided that he wouldn’t question finally having a partner for his morning jogs.

 

**17th of September**

 

“No it needs to be after a match, I think,” Sirius said to James angrily.  
“Why do you have to mess with Quidditch? It’s _sacred,_ ” the other boy moaned.

Sirius snorted, then answered “It’s the only time we can make sure that that many students _and_ Professors are in one place. Come on Prongs, it’s our last year, we need to do something GRAND, something we will forever be remembered for.”

“Why not a meal? Less people skip meals than Quidditch.”

“We’ve _done_ meal before and besides, it would be way too complicated, the castle has too many secret passages and spells, we’d be spending weeks just analyzing the hall. There is no way we wouldn’t get caught before we even do anything.”

“First game’s between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor,” James said gravely.

“Doesn’t really matter who’s playing, I’m sure most of the other houses will show up.”

“Well yes but my team mates will be panicking and running around instead of enjoying our victory,” James frowned.

“They’ll celebrate _after_ Prongs. We all will,” Sirius reassured him. “Now we need to work on the details.”

James sighed.

“Oi!” Sirius shouted to the two boys who were playing chess across the dormitory, “Come help us you berks. What’s with the silence?”

“Honestly I never thought James would agree to messing with the Quidditch pitch,” Peter replied cheerfully, but came over and sat next to the other two.

“I’ve just been trying to ignore your insane plan to get us all detention until the end of the year,” Remus replied, walking over much slower than Peter had. “You can’t possibly expect us to get away with it, if we even manage to do it. We can’t trap the whole school and not be found out.”

“Trapping them is only the beginning,” Sirius said, eyes glistening, “We need to also find a way to really, really annoy them. I’m thinking maybe pixies? Hundreds of them?”

“Cockatrices would be better,” James said, obviously warming up to the idea, “Those creatures can run! It would be chaos.”

“Not to mention more legal than trying to capture hundreds of pixies,” Remus added dryly.

And so they began to plan their biggest prank yet. Once the initial draft was finished, they divided the necessary research into groups and started working on the charms and supplies that would be required. For everything to go according to their plan - “And it _must_ Prongs, we can’t compromise!” - they had to spend about ninety galleons, modify two existing spells and come up with a brand new one to make only certain areas of the Quidditch pitch fill with black fog.

 

**27th of September**

 

Getting to the shack that evening had been trickier than usual due to James having to go to the Prefects’ meeting (Remus had been excused of course).

“Who holds a meeting at six in the afternoon on a _Tuesday_?” James complained as the boys tried to walk as quickly as they could without drawing attention to themselves. He was dying to use the cloak right away but there were too many people around.

“It doesn’t make sense since Remus couldn’t make it anyway, why would McGonagall set it up this way?” Sirius had paced in front of the room for the duration of the meeting, nervous and fidgeting.

“Maybe she forgot,” Peter offered, shrugging. He wasn’t pleased either, but by now they were used to having to get around the full moon schedule.

“Ah, there we go,” James exclaimed, sounding relieved, and pointed at a door to their left, “That room will be empty, they’ve moved the Charms classroom again.”

“Didn’t take them long this time,” Peter snickered. Quite often, a first or second year would cast poor enough charms that the classroom would actually become unusable, at least temporarily (once permanently).

They got into the old classroom and quickly got under the cloak, avoiding the books that were trying to beat them over the head. Once they were safely out, they quickly closed the door behind them and ran for the shack. They wouldn’t make it in time, but they wouldn’t be too late.

 

**28th of September**

 

When Remus woke up on Wednesday, he was already in bed, and he heard Madam Pomfrey from the distance talking to another student. He wasn’t too shocked; every now and again he wouldn’t remember the short time between the transformation back and the hospital wing. Still, it always gave him a pause to wake up comfortable.

He looked out the window and frowned. It was getting dark out. How had he been sleeping this long? He checked his body nervously, wondering if it had been a bad night - he always slept longer after particularly tougher full moons - but he didn’t seem to have many new wounds, just minor scratches.

As he was pondering what was going on, Pomfrey entered the room with a smile that Remus hadn’t seen her give to anybody else. Most of the time Pomfrey was all business when it came to dealing with the students (or Professors) but she definitely had a soft spot for him.

“Feeling better, Remus?” she asked and approached him, checking his forehead with the bottom of her right hand.

“I feel good, thank you,” he murmured, trying not to sound too much like the eleven-year-old that had been on this bed not too long ago. His transformations were so much easier now, he felt guilty for all the attention he was still being given by her.

“Good, I’m glad to hear it. It shouldn’t be an issue to let you sleep in your own bed tonight then.”

Remus couldn’t help but furrow is brows at the words. He hadn’t spent the night in the hospital wing in a long time, and he couldn’t imagine why Pomfrey thought he should now. “Er, why would I?” he asked quietly. His throat was still sore. One of the few things having his friends around didn’t help with.

“Your friend said you seemed to be in pain, and asked me to give you more Sleeping Draught if I thought it would help.” She paused, and her expression got tense, suspicious. “Were you not in pain?”

“I… I don’t remember, to be honest,” he admitted.

She nodded, relaxing. “Ah, I see. I was worried for a second there that Mr. Black had had ulterior motives to keep you out of the way. If you don’t even remember the morning, it must have been a tiring night.” She smiled knowingly, and raised an eyebrow. “I still would be careful when entering your dormitory. If the past six years have shown me anything, it’s that you four boys are relentless at playing tricks on each other.”

“I suppose we are,” he answered, smiling back.

It wasn’t until she was gone and he was getting ready to leave that he noticed a dark Chocolate Wand box on top of a neat stack of parchments, next to the clothes that had been left behind for him to change into. It wasn’t unusual for his friends to leave behind chocolate, but he didn’t know what the parchments would be for. He flipped through them to see that they were notes from classes, written in the unmistakably eloquent cursive handwriting of Sirius Black.

Except Sirius Black didn’t take notes in class, not really. He mostly doodled and wrote a few sentences here and there. What Remus was holding in his hands right now was the work of a person actively listening in class, and going out of their way to take precise notes, with even page numbers noted down next to certain statements, or ‘might be in exam’ written in brackets after some underlined paragraphs. He sat down and looked through the notes more thoroughly, amazed.

The notes were exceptionally well-organized, and reminded him of Lily’s notes, especially the way the runes were written exactly twice the size of regular text — That gave him a pause. Sirius didn’t _take_ NEWT level Ancient Runes. He frowned in confusion until it clicked: Sirius must have charmed a quill to copy Lily’s notes. It made much more sense than Sirius Black taking notes in class. Remus nodded to himself and got up to change.

He glanced at the clock before saying goodbye to Pomfrey and noticed that it would be a waste of time to go to the dormitory before dinner. He headed to the Great Hall with the notes, nibbling on the Chocolate Wand idly.

When he arrived at the Great Hall the Marauders were already there eating, his usual seat next to Peter left empty for him. He sat down and after saying hi to his friends, turned to the boy in front of him and said “Thank you, Sirius,” pointing at the notes in his hand.

Sirius shot him a quick smile and said “No problem Moony” before turning back to James, “Anyway, I still don’t think Babbling Curse would work. There’s no guarantee that she would say something bad enough to get detention.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “You’re trying to get someone in detention?”

“Aurora,” Peter said matter-of-factly.

“Why?” Remus asked as he grabbed a spoonful of stew.

“She needs to loosen up, always worried about getting in trouble if somebody so much as speaks too loud during a class, apparently,” James replied, sounding like a father concerned about his daughter. She was two years their junior so they didn’t have any classes together, but there were few enough people in the House that they had a general idea about what quite a few of them were like.

Sirius snorted. “That and she told Prongs off.”

“Oh?”

“Not that it’s _relevant_ ,” James said, annoyed, “But yes she may have mentioned something about detentions to me.”

“Oh it’s relevant, mate!” Sirius laughed, then turned to Remus. “We were playing Exploding in the common room and she was working on an essay. She told us to stop making noise and go up to our dorm. Prongs told him there’s a perfectly good library where students can go for revision. She said she doesn’t need to roam the castle and get in trouble like us lot, that she has better things to do with her time than spend it running around or in detention.”

“That wasn’t a Gryffindor-like thing to say,” James added, “Where’s the house spirit?”

“Gryffindor spirit does not equal Marauder spirit,” Remus said, amused.

“Well it should!”

In the end, Remus convinced them that the best scare might be to change her Potions notes to add the extra anti-clockwise stirs for the Confusion Concoction, a method Snape had invented. It would be unconventional and cause the potion to change the color much quicker than expected and give the girl a scare, but the result would be a better mark than the rest of the class. Begrudgingly James accepted, saying as Head Boy he probably shouldn’t be actively trying to get points deducted from Gryffindor. Peter had snorted and raised an eyebrow, but nobody had disagreed.

 

**12th of October**

 

Remus had gotten up for his usual six in the morning shower when he heard the door open. James ( _And Sirius too, now,_ he thought, amused) didn’t get back before half past six, usually. He hoped they hadn’t gotten themselves hurt.

It was only Sirius this time. Remus couldn’t help but stare at his handsome friend as he wiped some mud from his face, then took his shirt off. Sirius seemed oblivious to Remus sitting on his bed, awake. His eyes were barely open, and fixed on the floor.

The werewolf stopped breathing when he stretched, cracking his knuckles, causing his arms to flex. Slowly, the dark-haired boy took off his tracksuit bottoms and Remus finally drew in a breath. He had forgotten how attractive Sirius was. The morning routine with James had enhanced his already great physique. Remus licked his lips and stared, too transfixed to even pretend not to be watching. Sirius didn’t seem to notice or care.

It didn’t take long for Remus’ gaze to land on Sirius’ crotch. It looked like Sirius was half-hard, but it was difficult to tell from the side-way angle and through the baggy boxers that the boy was wearing. As if reading the dirty-blond’s mind, Sirius took off his pants in an unfairly graceful fashion.

 _Who looks elegant taking off underwear, seriously?_ Remus wondered, slightly annoyed. Was there nothing Sirius Black was not perfect at?

Sirius tilted his body slightly, stretching again, and Remus now saw that he was fully erect. He licked his lips again and willed his breathing to calm down, hoping the other boy either wouldn’t notice his hungry stare or at least not care.

Sirius turned his back to Remus, and the werewolf watched his perfectly sculpted body walk away into the showers.

As soon as the bathroom door closed, Remus drew his curtains and slid down his pyjamas, hand stroking his cock before his second foot was even on the bed.

After he was done, he realized he had not seen Sirius naked that year until that morning. In the years before, seeing Sirius naked or at least half-naked had been a common occurrence, but this year they always seemed to dress and shower at such times that he never saw him. He hadn’t thought much of it until now since Remus himself also had been keeping some distance from the other boy, trying to cool off his crush.

 _Probably for the best,_ he thought, _Or else I’d never get anything done, unable to get my bloody hand off of my cock. It’s not even close to the full moon. I don’t want to think about what I would have done if it were!_

 

* * *

 

That afternoon, Remus was sorting through some old notes to see if he could find a reference to the third Centaur war since it had come up in the last assignment. A small piece of parchment fell out of his notes, and he recognized his own handwriting on it. It said “More chocolate frogs have gone missing. Am convinced James has them.” He smiled, remembering writing the note to Sirius who had only laughed in response. Later that day, Remus had found a big bar of Honeydukes’ most expensive chocolate bar on his bed. Sirius loved such gestures. Remus had been to embarrassed to accept it but at Sirius’ insistence, had ended up sharing it with everyone in the common room.

Remus looked around the dormitory quickly, trying to calculate when James would be back from his meeting with Lily and Dumbledore. He probably had at least a few minutes unless James was running back to the dormitory which he doubted.

He went to search James’ trunk for chocolate frogs. He certainly wasn’t the type to eat them - he didn’t even like them that much - so he must have been hiding them somewhere. As he rummaged through the trunk, he found a muggle photo. After a second’s thought, he recognized one of the girls in it. It was Lily, looking around age eight or nine. The girl next to her was probably her sister. The two were smiling at the camera and holding out two boxes proudly.

When James came back into the dormitory, Remus was still by his trunk. He held up the photo and looked at James questioningly.

“What are you doing in my trunk, Prefect?” James asked, trying and failing to sound normal.

“It’s one thing to steal things from me and joke around within our own gang, but you can’t just steal photos from Lily, James, no matter how much you are pining for her,” Remus said as he got up from the floor.

James blushed. “I didn’t take it from her,” he replied, “I found it on Snivellus a while ago. I’ve had that thing for years. I just thought I deserved it more than him.” He shrugged and looked away.

Remus looked at the picture again, looking pensive. Realization dawned on him suddenly. “The box. The music box.”

James’ blush reached his ears.

“That’s how you knew!” Remus continued, “That gift you got her years ago! She… You realize she was pissed off over it? She still thinks that you stole her music box and destroyed it just so you could impress her with a relevant gift! You should tell her…”

“Nah, it’s alright,” James said, shrugging and still not meeting Remus’ eyes, “She doesn’t need to know. I’ve done worse things anyway.”

“Not to her, you haven’t,” Remus insisted.

“Still.”

 

**15th of October**

 

Sirius had started routinely coming back from practice early, either right before or right after Remus used the bathroom himself. It wasn’t frequent enough to look planned, but it _was_ frequent enough that once Peter - having woken up to the sound of Remus dropping his things as he came out of the shower to see a naked Sirius - had asked Sirius if he was giving up already on keeping up with Prongs. Sirius had shrugged and said he had simply started getting up earlier.

On one of such days, James came back to see Sirius (who had just come out of the shower) shaking his head like a dog to dry it and a blushing Remus who was pretending to read his notes on an armchair.

“Mate, at this point, you need a drying spell,” James chuckled, dropping his broom carelessly onto the floor and taking off his torn shirt, “Your hair is too long for air-drying.”

It was. Sirius had been growing his hair, and although Remus had of course noticed (since he spent an unreasonable amount of time staring at his friend), he hadn’t thought about it much until James pointed it out.

With a quick nod, Sirius grabbed his wand and dried his hair. His hair was now dry, but looked like Alice’s cat’s hair who always looked windswept. The other boys, seeing this, started laughing and Peter said he looked like he just had a potion blow up in his face. Sirius, not looking bothered in the slightest by the teasing, walked over to the bathroom and started trying to fix his hair in the mirror.

“Just get a haircut, Padfoot,” James called out after him, “You look shaggier than, well, Padfoot.”

“Need to wait for it to grow just a little more so I can get it styled at the next Hogsmeade weekend by a proper barber,” Sirius shouted back, sounding happy to have a frizzy cat for hair on his head.

“You’re feminine enough with that face without also getting pampered like a witch at a salon,” Peter joined in.

There was a beat of silence, then Peter’s nose turned into a mouse’s, and he grew whiskers. “Nose out of my business, Wormtail,” came Sirius’ voice, from closer this time as he was at the bathroom door.

After the initial startle, Peter sighed and turned into a rat and back into a human. “I’m glad being an Animagus has as many perks as it does. I didn’t fancy another trip to Pomfrey this week,” he said, “But you really should stop doing that, it feels _really_ weird to partially transform, my nose feels like it’s being pinched the whole time.”

 

* * *

 

Later that day, they were on their way back from a Hogsmeade run for some much needed supplies (mostly chocolate, Butterbeer and Fanged Frisbees for an upcoming prank) when James suddenly halted, mid-sentence, and took a few steps into a hallway to their right.

“Oh, marvelous! Our favorite friend is here, let’s have some fun!” James exclaimed. Following his gaze, the other boys saw Severus Snape with a few books floating behind him, presumably on his way back from the library.

“I thought you’d stopped going after him. You know, for Evans,” Peter asked, but didn’t seem unwilling.

“Well,” James said, shrugging, “I’m not saying let’s throw him into the lake again, I’m just saying let’s do a small, harmless bit of annoying.” He paused. “He’s still a slimy git running with the wrong crowd, even Lily doesn’t speak to him any more.”

Remus was biting his lip, wishing he could be anywhere but here. He hated how all logic went out of the window for James as soon as the Slytherin was within his eyesight.

“I think we best let it go this time, Prongs,” Sirius said, voice cheerful but calm.

Surprised, James asked “What? Why?”

“Don’t want to,” Sirius replied, shrugging. He was using his nonchalant Cool Boy Shrug and Half-pout. Remus thought that it was odd to see him use it around the Marauders. He hadn’t done that in years. 

James must have seen what the werewolf was seeing, and raised an eyebrow.

“I would have thought you of all people would want to go after him, Padfoot. You remember what we saw the other day, him and Regulus—”

“It doesn’t matter,” Sirius cut him off. He was still trying to act calm but there was an unmistakable coldness in his tone.

Suddenly James’ eyes lit up. “Are you planning an amazing revenge against him? And you can’t tell me because it’s too big for a Head Boy to ignore?”

Sirius sighed. “I’m not planning anything. He’s just not worth it.”

“We caught him teaching the Imperius curse to Regulus using a first year. If anybody deserves punishment, I’d say it’s him,” James replied darkly.

“I know what he’s done, James, no need to tell me again,” Sirius said, jaw set tight and all pretense of casualness gone.

“Then why won’t you come with me and scare him off? Tell him to get away from your brother?”

Sirius looked at the floor, eyebrows furrowed. He was quiet for several moments while James waited impatiently for an answer. “Regulus is his own person,” he said slowly in the end, “I’ve told him what I think about all this. I can’t bloody well Imperio him myself to make him stop. Would be rather hypocritical, I’d say.” He paused and looked at James who didn’t look convinced. “Besides, the first year they had was a Slytherin anyway, what do you care?”

“I care because you’ve been acting weird all year!” James half-shouted. He was loud enough for Snape to hear. He turned around and saw the Marauders, and quickened his step, his one hand twitching over his waist, ready to grab his wand at a moment’s notice. None of the Marauders made a move to follow him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sirius replied, but his pursed lips and bitter voice said otherwise.

“Come off it, you wanker!” James shouted, “When was the last time you attacked a Slytherin?”

“I think you mean ‘pranked’, Prongs, we don’t attack people like rabid beasts,” Sirius shot back dryly.

“Stop deflecting my question! Why won’t you ever bother Slytherins anymore? Is it because the stakes are too real now? Or did something happen last summer that you’re not telling me?”

“What exactly are you suggesting, Potter?”

“Er, Sirius? James?” Peter interrupted, looking from one boy to the other, “I feel like we might want to have this conversation elsewhere.”

James huffed and Sirius shrugged, but they both seemed to agree

“Just tell me one thing,” James said while they were walking towards the dormitory again, voice oddly distant, “Did they make you promise not to hurt any Slytherins?”

Sirius sighed again, deeper this time. He glanced at James quickly before looking ahead again. “Look, sorry I got angry back there,” he responded, all the bitterness gone from his tone, “I wasn’t even thinking about Regulus and you - you made me remember.”

James mumbled an apology and Sirius glanced at him again and saw that he was scratching the back of his neck and looking at the floor, looking slightly ashamed. He had done it to get a rise out of Sirius, but there was some honest curiosity behind his words, Sirius could tell.

“It has nothing to do with being a Black or what else you may be thinking,” Sirius mumbled, hoping this would satisfy James’ curiosity at least partially.

“Then what is it with you? You read the Prophet, you know what’s going on. You should want to go after them more, not less, this year.” James had made it clear many times how much the war bothered him. His parents tried to keep him away from the news, but he had long ago inherited their hatred for Dark Magic. Over the summer he had made the decision to become an Auror and fight against him, whereas before he had been considering becoming a professional Quidditch player. Sirius had agreed with him whenever the subject came up (Sirius always agreed with James) but had not been as determined.

“I haven’t avoided bothering Slytherins in particular,” Sirius replied, ignoring James’ buried accusation.

James took a moment to think, and his face actually relaxed as he did. “Huh. I suppose that’s true, actually.” He frowned. “When was the last time we put a Huffing charm on a Hufflepuff just for fun?”

“You _have_ been acting very Head Boy-ish so far this year,” Sirius replied, trying to keep his voice light.

James snorted. “Not as much as you, apparently. I don’t know how I didn’t notice…”

Remus had. He had noticed a while ago that although they still pulled pranks, they were almost exclusively general ones such as classrooms, hallways, dungbombs in common rooms, etc. He had thought it was all part of James’ ‘getting it together for Lily’ act, mixed with his determination on learning as many spells and curses as he could for his upcoming career as an Auror. They definitely spent more time in the library this year than any other.

Hearing that James hadn’t been the cause behind Sirius slowing down was quite a surprise to Remus. _I suppose it still could be,_ he thought, _Sirius could have been doing it for Prongs without him realizing._

None of the boys spoke again until they closed the dormitory door behind them.

“I just think,” Sirius said and shot a quick look at Remus that the werewolf almost didn’t catch, “That we’re kind of over all that, you know?” James took a breath to respond but Sirius continued. “Of course I’m always up for some adventure, don’t get me wrong Prongs. I _am_ a Marauder still. Those frisbees are going to get charmed tonight just as we discussed. I just don’t see the point in singling people out, even when they’re greasy Snivvy.”

Peter and Remus were both stunned. They had never in their six years of friendship seen Sirius disagree with James. Not in this way. They might argue over the best spell for a plan or even a girl once but nothing fundamental, nothing important.

James and Sirius were looking at each other, having another one of their silent conversations. After a while, James smiled and Sirius grinned back. They nodded and started putting away their purchases before heading to bed.

 _What a weird year,_ Remus thought, _Maybe we_ ** _are_** _growing up after all._


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is still wooing!

**16th of October**

 

The Marauders were having a lazy Sunday. Peter was working on his Transfiguration homework but mostly reading Quidditch Weekly that was spread right next to his textbook. Sirius and James were conjuring up small animals made of fog and making them fight, the boys themselves spread over the couches of the common room and only moving their wrists slightly to cast the spells. Remus was halfway through his muggle crossword puzzle when Sirius’ unicorn lost to James’ hedgehog and he got up and sat next to Remus.

“Anything I can help with?” he asked, leaning in way too close in Remus’ opinion (but not his body’s).

“I don’t think you’ve taken enough Muggle Studies to even begin doing something like this,” Remus replied jokingly. Remus’ mother would often send him muggle newspapers so he could keep up-to-date with current muggle events and do the crossword.

Sirius shrugged. “Sometimes they’re just about vocabulary, those I can help with. I know more words than Prongs and Worms put together, forced tutoring as a kid and all,” he said, voice happy but not mocking.

“Hey! I take offense to that!” Prongs replied but was grinning from ear to ear. In first year, one of James’ favorite pass times had been making fun of Sirius for his overtly-posh accent and usage of ‘big grown-up words’ as he’d put it. When an eleven-year-old James had asked why Sirius ‘spoke that way, with those big words,’ frowning, Sirius had replied that it was an amalgamation of several factors including how due to speaking Latin, Latin-derived words simply came easier to him but he had noticed that other children had a preference to Germanic words. _That_ had resulted in non-stop laughing on James’ part for the better part of three minutes, as well as a string of jokes in a horrible German accent.

Remus gulped and shifted slightly away from Sirius - he really did not need to be smelling his hair (orange blossom and a hint of grass, the werewolf noted) or have his lips so close to the other boy’s. It was hard enough to resist the urge to kiss Sirius when he was across the room. “Maybe this one,” he said, willing his face not to turn red, “Sap used to poison arrows. Four words, fourth letter-”

“Upas,” Sirius responded before Remus could finish.

“Huh. That fits. Then this one is ‘barbarous’. Thanks Sirius.”

 

**22nd of October**

 

True to his word, Sirius did make an appointment with a hairdresser for their next trip. While the other boys wasted time walking around and then in Honeydukes across the street, Sirius spent a good hour in there. When he came back to find them in front of Honeydukes as agreed, Remus drew in a sharp breath. His hair which had been quite messy for weeks was now looking well-maintained and carefully styled in a casual way ( _Sirius probably ruffled it before meeting us_ , he thought absent-mindedly). He had it parted from the left side and the front was slightly shorter, almost like a girl’s bangs but much longer. As they walked towards Three Broomsticks, Remus kept stealing glances at the boy and thought his hair looked a _lot_ like Jimmy Page’s.

 _You think everything is related to Jimmy Page_ , he scolded himself internally, _Just because you think he’s fit and Sirius is fit… Merlin’s beard he looks so good. Get ahold of yourself Remus, it’s almost a week until the full, you shouldn’t be getting randy because Sirius cleaned up a bit._

 

**23rd of October**

 

“Have you decided what you want to get Lori for her birthday, Wormtail?” Sirius asked, breaking the silence that had gone on for almost five minutes this time while the boys worked on their essay that was due the next day.

“Not yet,” Peter replied absent-mindedly, still reading his notes.

“Well, you should, it’s only a few days away, isn’t it?” Sirius prodded, sounding annoyed.

Peter stopped reading and turned to Sirius, blinking a few times in confusion. James raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment, quill quickly moving over his parchment as he rushed to finish.

“Why do you care?”

“You know me,” Sirius replied casually, not looking at Peter, “Always curious about muggle-borns. What does one even _give_ them? Most things are too magical for them to take home without breaking the law. Too noticeable.”

Peter shrugged. “That’s part of the problem, Hogsmeade isn’t exactly full of muggle gifts.”

“What about a book? There are quite a few muggle books in the big shop.”

“I guess that could be a good idea,” Peter agreed, nodding and turning back to his notes.

Sirius made an annoyed noise before holding a growl back and instead continuing calmly “I think maybe that one series Moony and Evans likes - Ring Lords, was it, Remus?”

“Lord of the Rings, I assume, is what you mean, Padfoot,” Remus replied, smiling but not taking his eyes off of his textbook as his hand continued to trace certain sentences.

“Is that your favorite, then? Good book?”

Remus paused and raised his head. “That’s probably the best for a gift, but I’ve always been partial to The Hobbit myself. By the same author, but more light-hearted and involves dragon-fighting.”

Sirius’ eyes shone and Remus couldn’t imagine why. He really hoped he wasn’t giving him a prank idea like charming Peter’s gift to breathe out fire when opened or something.

“Girls would probably prefer something with less fighting though, Wormtail,” he continued, hoping to get rid of whatever evil idea Sirius surely had in his head, “Maybe The Princess Bride book, if you want to go muggle?”

 

**27th of October**

 

Remus woke up a second time on the day after the full moon to find another Chocolate Wand (white, this time) and more neatly taken notes. He smiled as he grabbed them, not taken by surprise this time, and started walking towards the dormitory. It was just past lunch time but he only had morning classes on Thursdays so he didn’t need to try to go to class.

The rest of the Marauders had Divination after lunch so Remus didn’t expect them back until at least an hour from when he arrived in the dormitory. He took the notes and some empty parchments and went to the common room to use the big table there to revise. Lily’s notes were quite good but he found writing helped him learn and remember much better than reading.

Two hours later, the Marauders still weren’t back but Remus hadn’t noticed the time go by. When Lily walked into the room and sat next to him, he was frowning over a particular piece of parchment with half of the sentences crossed over.

“I don’t quite agree with you,” he told her, “I don’t think Snick was trying to suggest that the character numbers are infallible. In fact, he gave several examples in his book Beyond the Number about people who have changed their names to more suitable names without even having studied Arithmancy. In fact, I’d guess that was the whole point of this lecture, to show us that some Third Year Arithmancy theories have been disproved.”

Lily didn’t respond, just looked at him sheepishly.

“Er, hi, by the way,” Remus said, giving her an embarrassed smile.

“Hi. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Remus showed her one of the paragraphs in the notes, pointing his quill at the relevant passage. “Here, in your notes for today’s class, you wrote that Snick discussed the Character Number theory in detail, and explored it further as if he accepted them as truth. I disagree.”

Lily frowned. “Those aren’t my notes.”

“Well, yeah, this is Sirius’ handwriting but the original words are yours.”

“They’re really not,” she said, “And I’m not sure why you think that they are.”

Remus furrowed his brows and looked down at the parchment as if he was seeing it for the first time.

“For what it’s worth, I agree with you. That _was_ the whole point of that lecture. Vector wasn’t saying it outright, he’s more subtle than that, but it was quite clear.” She realized Remus wasn’t paying attention. “Remus? Remus Lupin?”

“Mmm?”

“What’s wrong? You’re lost in thought again.” She paused, then looked around quickly to see if they were still alone. “Are you - er - tired?”

“I’m doing well, Lily, don’t worry,” Remus said, looking up at her. He didn’t want her to think this was because of the full moon. “Just confused about who Sirius got these notes from if not you. You’re the only person with my exact schedule.”

“Oooh,” she replied, sounding excited, “I thought you knew! I was wondering why you hadn’t said anything.”

“Know what?”

“It was Sirius,” she said, smiling, “He came to all the classes and took notes.”

“That… Doesn’t make sense. He has his own classes to go to. Also, he doesn’t take notes.”

“I know! That’s what I thought too!” Lily agreed, voice high and excited, “I was baffled at first, expecting some sort of angle but he came to all the classes, sat mostly-quietly and took good notes from what I could see. Well, I guess not perfect but he’s never taken any Arithmancy before, that class would have been well above his head, no matter how smart he is.”

“Don’t let him hear you call him smart, might give him and James ideas,” Remus replied, laughing. Then his face got serious again. “That is so odd,” he whispered.

 

**29th of October**

 

“Mr. Lupin, please stay behind,” said Professor Loftbeard at the end of the Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

The other boys gave him weird looks, but didn’t comment on it other than telling him they would meet him later at Transfiguration. Remus headed straight to the Professor’s desk but Loftbeard did not speak until everybody had left the classroom.

“Have I done something wrong, Professor?” he asked nervously, trying to remember if he may have written something silly on his last assignment. He had written it right before the full moon when his language tended to get colorful.

“Not at all, Mr. Lupin,” he replied, raising an eyebrow, “I require a favor from you.”

“How can I help, sir?”

“I have some fifth years struggling in class and I was wondering if you could tutor them.”

“I - I mean of course, if you wish, sir,” Remus replied, confused. He’d never been asked by a professor to tutor before. Sometimes younger Gryffindors would ask for his help, but it would never be an organized affair.

“Excellent. Tuesdays at five in the afternoon at the library. For now help them with their current projects, then we’ll see after their exams.”

“Thank you,” Remus said, beaming. He loved helping others revise, especially when it was a subject he was interested in such as Defense Against the Dark Arts. This would be amazing.

 

**1st of November**

 

Remus had spent the last half an hour of Potions trying to convince James that no, he could not just ‘ditch the stupid gits’ who needed his tutoring. James kept sending him increasingly more rude and insistent notes.

“Prongs, mate, just leave it,” Sirius said after one of the notes caught fire in Remus’ hand, making him curse.

“We _need_ this finished in a few days Padfoot, you know that! You’re the one who got us started on this in the first place.”

The first Quidditch game of the year was in a few days and they were very close to finishing their prank. They had figured out everything except the fog. They kept getting either too much or too little, although they had at least managed to stop the spontaneous fog beasts that had a tendency to bite.

“We can do it, don’t worry. We’ll be in the library too anyway, and Moony can join us as soon as the ickle fifth-ies are gone.”

“Fine,” James huffed.

 

* * *

 

The Marauders took the table right across from Remus and the fifth years he was tutoring. They sprawled all over the table that was meant to sit at least eight people. They pored over notes and discussed with each other why their spell wasn’t working the way they wanted it to. The calculations seemed correct. Sirius was going over a Latin textbook to see if he had mistranslated something.

Every now and again, Sirius glanced over at Remus who seemed happier than he had seen him in a while. When Remus taught, his smile always reached his eyes. Even when the students asked him a silly question (which wasn’t often, they were Ravenclaws), he would chuckle good-naturedly and explain to them without a hint of annoyance in his voice or face.

As they had planned, when the werewolf was done tutoring he came over to the Marauders who were munching on snacks they had convinced the house elves to bring them an hour ago in lieu of dinner.

“Moony, come take a look,” Sirius said, waving his friend over, “I think I may have found the problem.”

“My Latin isn’t as good as yours, not sure why you’re asking me,” he replied but did walk over to look at Sirius’ notes.

“I need logic here I’m afraid, not just language,” Sirius said, sighing as if in defeat.

“Now it makes sense why you need the help,” Remus said seriously, nodding.

“Har har,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, “Come look. We’ve been using ‘multa’ thinking ‘multiples’ but I think maybe we should be ‘pluribus’? ‘Multucalligo’ sounds fine but obviously isn’t working because it translates to something more like ‘lots of fog’ than ‘many pieces of smoke’, you know? I reckoned it shouldn’t matter, but the more text I read the more I’m inclined to say… Maybe ‘Pluribusnebula’? That doesn’t sound right.”

“You can’t just throw a Latin phrase as it is, Padfoot,” Remus agreed, his tone not condescending and more the gentle one he’d had with the Ravenclaws, “I know none of you took Magical Theory but especially someone who can speak Latin like you must have noticed that it’s almost never just sentences said out loud. If it were, back in the day people would have been constantly casting spells, unable to speak to each other.”

“Less teaching, more solving problems,” James interrupted when it seemed Remus had no intention of getting to the point.

“Right, well,” Remus said, “We need to kind of… Put the words together, but not just remove the space between them. Merge them, somehow, in a way that sounds natural. And works, obviously.”

“But you do agree that it’s the incantation, not the flicking?” James asked, curious.

“It couldn’t hurt to try,” Remus replied, shrugging. They had tried so many different wand movements that he didn’t see the point in trying more of those. Many of them had ended up with injuries.

“Plurnebula?”

“Doesn’t sound quite right,” Peter said.

“Plurinebula?” Sirius offered.

“Closer, but not quite there I don’t think. Doesn’t roll off the tongue,” James replied.

“Nebula Pluribus!” Remus almost-yelled, sounding excited.

“Didn’t you _just_ say that we can’t just say the words?” James sounded peeved. He’d been getting impatient with their never-ending research for this prank.

“Usually not, no, but with the order reversed it might just work,” Sirius replied instead of Remus, nodding to himself.

“Exactly!” Remus agreed.

“So just move the words around and it’s fine?” James said in a mocking tone, “Good thing I never bothered with Theory, it seems straight-forward enough.”

“Well, in daily speech it would be less natural to say it that way,” Sirius explained, “Due to it being a demonstrative adjective, but—”

James groaned loudly. “Somebody stop the posh swot!”

“Anyway,” Sirius said, getting up, “We need to try to see if it works. It _does_ roll off the tongue better than ‘multucalligo’.”

“Can’t argue with that,” James agreed and they went out to try it in the Forbidden Forest.

 

**5th of November**

 

Gryffindor claimed victory by fifty points and while the Gryffindors flooded the pitch and were chanting happily, the rest of the school started to get up to leave. Except, they couldn’t. As soon as they were about two feet away from the stands, they found they could not walk further. It didn’t take long for people to notice this and chaos to reign. Students were screaming - some had started crying minutes into their confinement. The professors were desperately trying to bring order while fighting off cockatrices and terrified students alike. The occasional blindness caused by random bubbles of smoke appearing did not help matters.

The Marauders were up in the air along with some other Quidditch players who’d quickly realized that the sky seemed safer. They still couldn’t leave, but the madness didn’t seem to reach this far up, at least. James and Peter were laughing at the crowd, tears in their eyes. When Slughorn had stunned a first year who was freaking out, Peter had almost fallen off his broom in giggles.

Sirius and Remus had done their share of laughing as well, but most of the time Remus was gazing down in amazement while Sirius stared at the dirty-blond with a similar look on his face.

 

**13th of November**

 

Remus continued tutoring the Ravenclaws and studying for his own classwork which was ‘unreasonably loaded’ according to the rest of the Marauders. As the mock-exam period approached and many Professors gave several involved projects due before the end of term, the stress levels of the werewolf were very high. He had been staying up studying often and even his glamour charms couldn’t conceal the bags under his eyes. The rest of the gang had tried to help him but they couldn’t argue with the fact that this was the best time for Remus to push himself since it would be full moon soon enough and he would be out of commission then.

That Sunday, Remus woke up in an armchair in the library. He didn’t remember moving away from the desk, but he was grateful that he had. His neck was stiff but he was much better off than he would have been if he’d slept at the desk. He knew from experience, unfortunately.

He yawned and stretched, looking around to see if there were any other students. There was a group of witches close by, deep into their studies, oblivious to the world around them. He scratched his chin and thought that he should shave.

Only when he got up did he notice a big bag floating next to him. It was a plain bag, almost like a potato sack, and it said MOONY on it. He opened it and a note came buzzing out. The note stayed floating in front of him, and it read “Dear Moony, Thought this would be a good pick-me-up after all the hard work you’ve been putting in!”

Remus took a deep breath and prepared for the worst as he looked inside the bag - he wouldn’t put it past his friends to prank him, even at a time like this - but was pleasantly surprised when no harm came to him.

He gasped. The bag was full of chocolate. Not the common Honeydukes chocolate but big, special-order bars. One of them was actually shaped like a wolf. Then he saw that there were several in his friends’ Animagus shapes as well. _Merlin, Padfoot,_ he thought as he moved his hand around in the bag and kept finding more, _All of Gryffindor will be sick of chocolate by the time we go through this…_

He paused when he felt something unlike a chocolate bar. He felt leather. He grabbed whatever it was and took it out. It was a leather-bound book, with beautiful dragon leather and shimmering letters on it: The Hobbit. The note tucked neatly inside its cover said “Smaug sounds like a Norwegian Ridgeback to me, so that’s the hide I picked. I hope you like it!”

Speechless and with wide eyes, Remus put the contents back inside the bag started walking towards the dormitory. When he arrived, Sirius immediately stood up from his bed, looking at Remus with hope.

“Padfoot this is—” Remus started, gesturing towards the floating bag following him, “What’s this for?”

“You’ve been working like a house-elf the past few weeks, I thought you deserved some pampering,” Sirius replied, shrugging and with a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“What’s this then?” James inquired and moved towards the bag, only to shout out in pain when he tried to touch it. It was a short jolt of pain, nothing much, but the unexpected nature of it had made him jump.

“Sorry Prongs, I was leaving it out in the open so had to charm it so only Moony could touch it,” Sirius explained to a glaring James.

“It is more chocolate than I have ever seen before,” Remus explained, taking its contents out, “And a book that’s worth more than my yearly allowance.”

James looked at the pile Remus had put in the middle of their dormitory, then at Sirius. He raised his eyebrow and the two boys fell into their usual silent-conversation routine. After a few moments, James shook his head and mumbled “Merlin’s beard…”

“Obviously we can’t return the chocolate,” Remus mused, “So that will go in the common room. I think next to the couch might be a good spot, the table is too close to the fireplace, they might melt. And for the book - you need to return the book, Padfoot.” He was desperately hoping that his face wasn’t as red as it felt.

“Nonsense, Moony!” Sirius said, dismissive, “That chocolate is for you and you only.” He paused. “I _may_ allow you to share it with us, but nobody else.” The werewolf took a deep breath but before he could interrupt him, Sirius held up a hand and continued. “That book is not getting returned either. Don’t even think I could, it was a custom order.” _And it took bloody for ever,_ he thought bitterly.

“Sirius this is - It’s too much.” The werewolf seemed genuinely troubled and Sirius almost felt bad enough to cave in.

“It’s nothing compared to all the trouble you have gotten us out of over the years, Moony,” he said softly.

Knowing when he’d lost a battle, Remus shook his head and looked at the pile before him. He grabbed the book and a bar of chocolate. “Thank you,” he whispered and walked to his bed without looking at Sirius. He didn’t trust himself not to pull the shorter boy into a kiss.

Sirius and James exchanged a look and they left the dormitory.

Four hours later, Remus had finished The Hobbit once again and sighed to himself happily when he closed the book. He ran his hands over the cover. It felt amazing. Even the pages seemed luxurious, and he idly wondered what material they were. They certainly weren’t the common parchments they used in class.

With a sigh, he got up and looked around the room to see that none of his friends were there anymore. He looked at the pile before him and noticed a big bar of white chocolate with oranges, Sirius’ favorite. He smiled and grabbed it, then went to put it on Sirius’ pillow. He noticed a small piece of parchment there. It looked like it had been torn from a book or empty newspaper page, perhaps.

On it, in cursive too delicate for such a parchment, was a list. “Things Moony Cares About and/or Likes”.

The list’s title and points were written in Sirius’ usual elegant handwriting but there were also slightly messier looking notes right next to them in brackets, some of them with lines or scratches over, dismissed. The numbers on all of them were checked off, suggesting completion.

 

 

> **Things Moony Cares About and/or Likes**
> 
>  
> 
>   1. **Books** (Muggle - ~~Animal Farm? Ring Lords? Need to check his trunk again to make sure.~~ Gregory Floohuff is the leather-bounder in Hogsmeade. HOBBIT)
>   2. **Chocolate** ( ~~Wands and Frogs~~ Special order at Honeydukes: Dark-only, White-and-strawberry and whatever else they recommend. He also seemed to enjoy the honey glazed one Peter had last year.)
>   3. **Jimmy Page** (Likes jackets - man after my own heart - but also jacket with no shirt underneath?? Long hair. Copy picture hidden in Remus’ Arithmancy notes for reference.)
>   4. **Class/marks** (Notes for full moon days, help with Alchemy if he is taking it this year)
>   5. **Tutoring** ( ~~Evans~~ ~~Longbottom~~ DADA Prof)
>   6. **Nice people** ( ~~Hex Argus Merrythought and Thomas Cornwalf~~ Stop pranking ~~Snivellus~~ ~~Slytherins~~ specific students)
>   7. **Really elaborate pranks that require us to come up with new spells** (Need Prongs. Maybe something after the Quidditch final that affects everyone?)
>   8. **Blond chaser in Fitchburg Finches** ( ~~Double-check that that’s the page he took from Prongs’ issue, the other chaser is skinnier, very different body types~~ Confirmed)
>   9. **Subtle fragrance** He reacted favorably to James’ body wash. ~~Citrus?~~ Orange blossom and musky - the note on the wash says fresh-cut grass
> 

> 
>  

Shocked, Remus tried to see what it could possibly mean. He thought back to the last two months and realized that Sirius had been working through this list. As he read the list over and over again, things clicked into place.

 

**1\. Books**

He glanced at the book now sitting innocently on his bed.

**2\. Chocolate**

He looked at the bar in his hand, then the big pile in the middle of the room.

**3\. Jimmy Page**

He thought back on Sirius’ recent hair change. So he hadn’t been imagining it. Sirius _had_ tried to look like Page.

**4\. Class/marks**

The neat notes he received after full moon.

**5\. Tutoring**

So Sirius had set that one up as well, it had not been a random request…

**6\. Nice People**

It had been Remus that Sirius had cleaned up his act for, not James.

**7\. Really elaborate pranks that require us to come up with new spells**

The Quidditch field prank that had taken them ages to setup. That _had_ been a particularly enjoyable one indeed.

**8\. Blond chaser in Fitchburg Finches**

Was that why Sirius had started going off with James in the mornings?

**9\. Subtle fragrance**

Another point confirmed to not be Remus’ imagination - he _knew_ he smelt something different and pleasant when the other boy’s head got close. How had he even remembered that Remus had liked James’ soap?

 

While the werewolf sat on Sirius’ bed with the list in his hand, trying to make sense of it while not getting his hopes up, James and Sirius walked into the dormitory.

James saw Remus and turned to Sirius “Is that a love letter, Padfoot? He looks terrified but is also blushing. That’s how _I_ would react to a note from you, I think,” he said.

“No,” Sirius replied, rolling his eyes, “It’s just my list. The one I told you about.”

“Oh,” James grinned, “I better get back downstairs then.” He walked straight out, not bothering to even leave his thick robe behind.

Sirius walked over to a dumbfounded Remus and sat down next to him. “Well?” he inquired.

Remus turned to Sirius, still red as his Gryffindor scarf, and opened and closed his mouth several times.

“Speechless?” Sirius chuckled, and moved a bit closer until their legs were touching.

“I am not sure I understand what is going on…” Remus whispered, putting his hands down and letting the list fall back onto the bed.

“I actually wasn’t going to show you the list just yet,” Sirius explained, smiling, “That was for _after_ I asked you to come to Hogsmeade with me next week.”

Remus didn’t respond, only kept staring at the handsome boy next to him who seemed to be getting closer by the second. Now their arms were touching as well.

“It was going to be my grand romantic gesture, _after_ you kissed me.”

“I was going to kiss you?” Remus asked, finding his voice at last. Sirius laughed.

“Of course you were,” he replied, “How could you not?”

Remus licked his lips and glanced at the list. “Have you… have you been trying to _woo_ me, Sirius?”

“Did it work?”

“Merlin, Padfoot…” Remus sighed and shook his head.

“You haven’t answered,” Sirius said with a hint of nervousness. Remus noticed that Sirius was playing with his jeans with his right hand anxiously.

“Most people just ask others out on a date, you know,” Remus replied with a raised eyebrow.

“I am not most people,” Sirius said, grinning, “And neither are you.”

“Clearly,” Remus replied dryly. His blushing was gone and he seemed peeved.

“You’re not happy.”

“I— Well— Not particularly, no,” Remus admitted.

“You don’t want to date me?” Sirius asked, his expression dropping. He looked at Remus with the eyes of a kicked puppy.

“I do,” Remus smiled sadly, “And yes of course I’ll go to Hogsmeade with you.”

“But you didn’t like the list,” Sirius surmised.

Remus sighed. “It’s just… a lot.” _And it makes me like you too much. Don’t do this to me, Sirius. Don’t make me think you_ ** _really_** _like me._

“What’s wrong with a lot? I don’t really do things small, you know that.”

Remus bit his lower lip for a few seconds before answering. “Nothing, not really.” He shrugged uncomfortably. “Just overwhelming.”

Suddenly, Sirius’ face was right next to Remus’. Remus gulped.

“You still haven’t kissed me,” Sirius whispered and Remus wondered how his breath smelled minty in the middle of the day.

With a small smile, Remus gave Sirius a quick peck on the lips. Sirius snorted and pulled the werewolf by his neck into a long kiss, prying open Remus’ lips with his tongue gently. They sat there, kissing and ignoring the ache the awkward position was giving them, for several minutes. When they were done, their lips were swollen and both boys were grinning from ear to ear, Remus’ smile slightly crooked because of one of his scars on his left cheek.

“I preferred your hair shorter, by the way,” Remus said after a minute of happily staring at one another.

Sirius chuckled. “I’ll have it however you like, Moony, just say the word.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end to the Marauders' Hogwarts days...
> 
> Warning: Mature content!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a weird turn, I had only been planning fluff, but I can't help but put obstacles in these puppies' way unfortunately.
> 
> I also thought about putting in a detailed smut scene but it didn't seem to fit the rest of the story, so here we are...
> 
> Also this chapter is for Author_In_Silver_Ink because s/he's been so great. :)

The rest of the seventh year passed partially in a blissful blur for Sirius and Remus (James had made several jokes about ‘puppy love stage’), and partially in deep, hushed conversations with other students regarding what they would do once they graduated and how they could help in the upcoming war. There had also been several pranks here and there, but not quite as many as previous years.

James and Lily had grown closer during their time as Head Boy and Girl. Remus had kept his unspoken promise to not tell Lily about the music box, but James managed to convince her of his matured state regardless. Above all else, Lily admired how dedicated James was to his friends and Dumbledore.

Even so, James had been taken by surprise when Lily accepted his Valentine’s date offer. He had been a mess for a week, planning it and picking and re-picking his outfit. After a few disastrous dates (that were apparently not bad enough to warrant getting hexed or refused another date), the Marauder had finally relaxed and they had become an actual couple. The more they were together, the better James seemed to get not only around Lily but around everyone. In an odd way, the way the war and full moons distracted James was actually making him a better boyfriend by letting him focus on the real important things and showing Lily the side of him that she eventually fell in love with, instead of charming mistletoes to follow her and sing ‘kiss Potter’.

In early June, between all of it and their NEWT exams, somehow they had found time to go to Hogsmeade, just the four of them, something they hadn’t done since before the winter break.

“Finally,” Sirius had exclaimed when James asked them to go to Hogsmeade together, mentioning that Lily had to study and couldn’t join.

“Don’t sound so glad to have the love of my life absent, Padfoot,” James had replied in mock hurt, getting a snort and hair-ruffling from Sirius in answer.

As they walked down the street, laughing and joking, they forgot about the war, the upcoming NEWTs (even Remus was not studying any more, saying it was pointless this close to sitting the exam), Peter’s father’s passing, … They were just a bunch of kids making puns and getting excited retelling stories of charmed-invisible frisbees following and biting Professors and Prefects for two weeks.

Peter and Remus stopped by Tomes and Scrolls and the other two boys kept heading towards Hog’s Head where they would meet in an hour for lunch. The weather was a perfect mixture of summer warmth and gentle breezes cooling them down as they walked.

“Thank you,” Sirius said to James with a smile, a few minutes after they had separated from Remus and Peter.

“Wh’ fo’?” James asked, half a chocolate frog hanging from his mouth.

“I’m guessing Lily didn’t really have to study,” Sirius said, his smile growing, “I’m glad we’re all here. It feels like old times, and I know we won’t get a chance again. We could sneak out, but it’s not the same.”

“Should have one more weekend, right before end of term,” James replied, pretending this wasn’t all planned out.

Sirius snorted. “Yeah sure, two days before a full moon, Moony’d love that trip I’m sure,” he said sardonically, then gave James’ shoulder a bump with his own. “I know what you did, Potter. I’m sure Moony noticed too. Thank you.”

James grinned back and shrugged. It wasn’t even a conscious act anymore, the things they did for each other. The bigger things like becoming Animagi, sneaking out of school to make it to Peter’s father’s funeral - sure, those had been planned out. But over the years they had all built their lives around each other organically in hundreds of small ways. Any one of them would accommodate the other as if accommodating one of their own limbs; no thought, just obvious course of action.

Serious moments between the two friends were always meaningful, but brief. The boys did not discuss the matter further. The rest of the walk was spent idly chatting about simple things and a few choice words about certain professors and where they could shove their assignments and NEWTs.

James was wiping tears from his eyes, eyeglasses crooked on his forehead, buckled over in laughter over a memory, when Sirius called out from him from a few feet ahead “Oi! Prongs, stop crying over Mulciber’s dashing pink hair for a moment. We can make it happen again if you miss it so much.”

James didn’t reply but collected himself, still chuckling as he walked over to Sirius.

“What is it?” he asked when he saw that Sirius was in front of a furniture shop. He peeked in and tried to see anything that could be used in a prank, but his eyes didn’t land on anything interesting. His mind went to the cutlery and dinner sets covering nearly the entire window-front but they’d done enough Great Hall pranks and he didn’t see the point in a repeat.

“The dinner set, the grey one here,” he replied, pressing his finger against the window, “Does it look like the one Lily picked?”

James and Lily had been picking things for a house every now and again, slowly building up to eventually moving in together somewhere. It wouldn’t happen for a while still, but they had started planning for it excitedly. Before they got a house though, they both wanted to stay with their parents for a bit and see where it would make sense for them to live based on the jobs they landed or what Dumbledore might require.

They had been in talks with Dumbledore regarding helping with the war, but the Headmaster had assured them that no details would be shared until they were completely finished with school. That had left many things in the air, but not the fact that James and Lily would live together. Lily had blushed and pretended to think it over when James asked, but was giggling in delight when he spun her around, saying he would make her the happiest woman on earth.

James frowned, looking at the window, then at Sirius in confusion. “I don’t know, they’re bloody _plates_ , I wasn’t exactly paying attention.”

“Well someone has to,” Sirius huffed, “We can’t eat off of our palms.”

“Padfoot, mate, Lily made it very clear that she will not live in a house where both you and I reside,” James said, voice sounding defeated. Lily had, in fact, stressed this as she had accepted James’ offer to move in together.

“She’s just scared of a little competition,” Sirius said, grinning, but hadn’t taken his eyes off the plates. He looked towards the shop’s door as if trying to estimate if he had enough time to go in.

“What do you care about plates anyway? When you get an apartment just get a decorator or something. You can afford it.”

“I don’t want some stranger to pick my things,” Sirius frowned, turning to James at last, “That sounds too much like a _mother_ -like thing to do.” He shuddered at the thought.

James rolled his eyes. “Then you can just grab the first set you see. I assure you, you won’t know the difference. Some have ingrained heat charms on them but otherwise they all look the same with food on ’em.”

“I want them to look nice,” Sirius said quietly, and James could tell that Sirius had been thinking about this, and that he was embarrassed about that fact. He looked over at the window quickly, eyes shifting from set to set.

“If you’re fond of grey and want _nice_ , maybe the ones on left top?” he pointed, forcing himself to try to care. _Dinner plates, Merlin,_ he thought to himself, _I didn’t think having a gay friend would mean I have to do_ ** _this_** _. The things I do for love…_

“With the _silver_ decorations on them?” Sirius replied, voice just short of angry.

“Oh. Er. You can get two sets, one of them for when Moony’s over.”

Hearing that, Sirius’ looked at James with mild shock and a dash of amusement, eyes slightly wider than their causal droop. “There is no ‘when Moony’s over’, Prongs. We’ll live together,” he said, matter-of-factly.

It was James’ turn to look confused. “Does he - er - know that?” he asked slowly.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “I assume so,” he replied, not sounding quite sure of himself, “I mean what else would he do? We couldn’t come to him during full moons if he stays with his parents.”

“Let’s go to Hog’s Head, and we can talk,” James said in response. Sirius glanced at his watch - forty minutes until they had planned to meet - and nodded.

Once they had sat down with Firewhisky - “Love that we’re of age now and can just _do_ that, out in the open!” - James took a big breath opened the subject back up again.

“I don’t think Moony’s planning to live with you after school,” he said, looking his best friend in the eyes. “At least not yet,” he added quickly.

“Why do you say that?” Sirius asked suspiciously. Obviously James had information that he didn’t.

James shifted uncomfortably in his seat, taking a sip of the Firewhisky they had only ordered this early in the day because, well, they _could_. The bitter taste left a lot to be desired without any food or party to accompany it, and he understood why most adults didn’t drink it during the day.

“Out with it, Prongs,” Sirius prodded, trying to sound casual but his eyes were dangerously serious.

“He asked me for a reference,” James said slowly, then stopped talking.

“Potter, I swear to you if you don’t tell me within the next minute I will hex you so badly Evans won’t ever be able to kiss you again without getting flashbacks to how ugly your face looked this very evening,” Sirius growled, hand twitching over his wand.

“Alright, alright calm down,” James sighed. After a moment’s hesitation, he began telling Sirius what he knew. “Well, you see, the Ministry requires that werewolves be checked four times a month unless they are living under direct supervision of an approved wizard or witch. Obviously not a problem here or at home where his father’s the bloody poster boy for Regulation and Control.”

He took another sip from his drink, trying to come up with gentler words for what he was thinking of. Sirius waited in anticipation, and James wondered if he was even breathing.

“He wants to live around Cornwall - on the muggle side of course so he can get a job, but close enough that he’ll be within reasonable distance of Godric’s Hollow or wherever else we may end up at. Most of our family and friends are in West County so it makes sense.” His words were slow and deliberate, and he was intentionally leaving out details that he knew Sirius would ask him. He wanted to focus on the basic, logical facts first before the unhappy ones.

“He asked for a reference so he could rent a house?” Sirius asked, puzzled, “It can be under my name, what does it matter?” When James opened his mouth to speak he added “Or asked a reference from me if he wanted to have it alone. He didn’t even mention it to me…”

James shrugged uncomfortably again. “I thought you knew,” he said, “I — ” He glanced up nervously, then went back to looking at his glass. “The reference isn’t for rent. It’s so he only has to go to the Ministry for his check once a month. Living alone, he… The Ministry will first come and check his - his transformation accommodations -” he sounded as if he was in pain, “And afterwards he has to go to them four times a month as I mentioned. But with the right references, he could cut it down to just one.” He hesitated again. “Just after the full.”

Sirius sat back, staring at James. His drink was untouched, and he felt like somebody was squeezing his heart with all their strength. Remus had never mentioned any of this… After what he had done in fifth year he had read many books on the subject but - thinking of it now - he hadn’t thought to ask Remus about _current_ regulations, something that would not be readily available at any library, much less a school one. He had screwed up again. Of course Remus wouldn’t want to live with him when Sirius hadn’t even taken the time to ask him what that meant, how he could help, what they needed to do…

He felt like an idiot. A self-centered, egocentric idiot. He had been so busy day-dreaming about waking up next to a naked Remus sprawled over the bed with him, making breakfast every day, making tea in two separate pots because they both liked it different, all the pleasant small things that came with living together, that he hadn’t thought about Remus’ condition at all, not in this way.

James, unable to stop himself any longer, called out his name. “Sirius?”

Sirius blinked and shook his head quickly like a dog, as if shaking away a thought. “I didn’t know,” he said as quietly as he could and still be heard in the half-full inn.

“I gathered,” James said gently, “Look, it doesn’t matter, he probably just didn’t want you to worry. It’s all paperwork and it made sense to ask me anyway, my name having a different kind of pull over the ministry than a disowned Black’s might.”

“That _does_ sound like Moony,” Sirius said, letting out a big breath he hadn’t noticed that he was holding. “And he didn’t even mention a specific house to you,” he continued, sounding more relieved by the syllable as he spoke, “He’s probably just getting things in order before we move in.”

James looked at his friend wistfully. He didn’t know how to explain to Sirius that it seemed painfully obvious that Remus was planning on handling things alone. He’d told James his reasons for needing the reference. He needed a muggle job and it would be impossible if he disappeared as often as the Ministry demanded, and that would mean no rent money. He didn’t want to be a burden on his parents any longer - “Or anybody else,” he had warned James, sensing he was about to offer him financial help. The way Remus spoke wasn’t the speech of a man moving in with a partner, it was of one planning on handling everything on his own.

“You should still ask him,” James said softly, with a weak smile at the end of his sentence.

Sirius considered this and nodded, grinning. “Can’t promise I’ll have the kind of smashing proposal as you did, but I do imagine I’ll get my reply faster than a bloody week at least.” It had taken Lily eight days to stop torturing James and accept his offer, even though she had known she would accept the second he’d asked.

“Very funny, Black,” James replied, smiling, but there was worry in his eyes.

They talked for a while more, full of awkward silences on James’ part, and excited ideas of proposals on Sirius’. When James saw that they only had a few minutes left until their meeting time, it finally gave him the push he needed to tell Sirius what he knew he should have said at the beginning of this conversation instead of wasting half an hour talking about silly ideas like if Remus would like red or white roses (“None!”).

“Probably the best idea is to just give him the keys, to be honest - not let him have an excuse to—”

“Sirius,” James cut him off, hoping he looked solemn and not scared, which is how he really felt.

“Yeah?” Sirius sounded amused, not worried at all. James didn’t know if Sirius was being thick or was just deeply in denial.

“I think you need to have a serious talk— no, don’t cut me off, it’s not funny — you need to talk to Remus and not do any…” He gestured what looked like fans or fireworks. “Anything flashy.” He drew a big breath. It was now or never. “I honestly don’t think you’re on the same page. I don’t even think you are reading the same _book_.” He paused again, looking away from Sirius’ confused frown. “When I talked to him it _really_ didn’t sound like he had any plans to… You know…”

Sirius drew a breath to answer but was cut off by Peter shouting out to them, a few feet away. “Hey Prongs! Padfoot! Oi Moony, hurry up they’re here.” He had shouted the last part towards the door, through which the werewolf came in with a few bags in his hands a few seconds later.

Sirius and James looked at each other and silently agreed to drop the subject, but Sirius still looked uncomfortable in his skin until their friends arrived at the table and he put on his usual charming act.

~

“Eugh!” James groaned as he flopped onto the common room couch, putting his head gently onto his girlfriend’s lap.

Lily raised an eyebrow but didn’t take her eyes off of the newspaper she was reading. “Do I want to know?” she asked.

James huffed in response and closed his eyes, crossing his arms.

“Are you ten, Potter?” she asked, but her tone was happy and she did not sound frustrated as she had when she’d asked him the same just a year ago after one prank or another.

“I don’t want to get involved in people’s love lives!” he half-shouted, but his voice was muffled by Lily’s shirt that he was now burying his face in.

“Good policy, I’d say,” the red-head replied cheerfully. Seeing James look up at her in distress, she sighed. “What’s wrong now?”  
  
“Padfoot and Moony.”

Lily let out a laugh, unable to stop herself. She took a quick look around to make sure that the common room was still empty. She was happy the warm weather seemed to keep people outdoors so she didn’t have to worry about privacy just to see her boyfriend or have conversations like this. “Did you walk in on them again?”

“No,” he moaned, turning to the other side now, away from Lily.

“What then?”  
  
“They’re having… I don’t know. Something. And I don’t want to get involved. But it’s going to end bad and I just know it.” He seemed genuinely troubled. He was complaining like a toddler over it but Lily knew that it was only because he actually had very grown-up worries about the happiness of his friends.

“It could sort itself out,” she told him gently, and started stroking his hair. He leaned into the touch and had a small smile on his lips before he sighed.

“You know how we’re moving in together?” he asked and Lily could tell the rhetorical question would somehow lead to whatever the trouble was with Sirius and Remus.

“Yeah? What about it?”

“Well, Padfoot got this idea that that means all couples move in together after Hogwarts I guess and he - and he thinks Moony and he will have a flat together. Or a house. Or something. He was picking _plates_ for it today.” The pout was back even deeper now, and he sounded slightly disgusted.

“You know, I can see that,” Lily replied, grinning, “Say what you will about Black, but he does everything in style. Even his quills are good-looking.”

“Hey! You should only look at _my_ quills now!”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Sure, Potter,” she teased before continuing. “What does that have to do with anything? They have a row over it? I’ve heard picking furniture can be taxing on couples. Good thing you let me do all of it!”

“I picked some things,” he mumbled as he moved his head under Lily’s hand, encouraging her to keep playing with his hair.

“Yeah the mugs with filthy puns on them and leather-bound back-issues of Quidditch Weekly to be put on our shelves,” she said with a snort.

“All excellent choices. I don’t know how there was ever a world where I did not own a mug that says ‘Save a broom, ride a Quidditch player’. Anyway, they didn’t have a row.”

“What then?” she asked, getting impatient, “Stop making me dig information out of you.”

“Moony doesn’t — I don’t think he wants to move in with Padfoot at all. And Padfoot’s acting as if it’s given, you know? He was talking about just giving Moony the keys.”

“You’re sure Remus doesn’t want to?” Lily asked carefully, and James could tell that she was thinking about something else in the back of her mind.

“Yeah,” he replied, shrugging, “I mean you know I gave him that reference for the Ministry.” She nodded. “He absolutely does not sound like he’s planning on moving in with Padfoot at all. Padfoot didn’t even know about it…”

“He might just not think that it will happen,” Lily said slowly, her words deliberate and obviously thought-over.

James didn’t reply, instead sat up and gave her a puzzled look. She held back a sigh.

“If Sirius hasn’t asked him, he might just be assuming Sirius doesn’t want to or at least that it won’t happen,” she continued, “You’re right that not _every_ couple moves in together straight out of school. It’s not unreasonable for Remus to think that they would have separate houses. Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t like to.”

“I told Padfoot he should _ask_ Moony,” he mumbled, but Lily knew that James’ reason and hers were very different.

“Has he already made a plan for an incomprehensibly embarrassing and public proposal? Are there charmed Howlers involved?”

“Evans!” he replied in pretend-shock. “When have we ever gone overboard like that?”

She snorted. “Only always. What was it that Black says - ‘why do things you can over-do’?”

James laughed back and shook his head. She wasn’t far off the mark, several of Sirius’ ideas had been embarrassing indeed. Roses… What had that boy been thinking?

“Don’t let him, if he had some grand plan,” she advised.

“I told him to tone it down, don’t worry.”

“Finally, I’m getting through to you!” she said with a laugh and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Becoming sensible after all.” He leant in to kiss her properly. Afterwards, she said “Let me talk to Sirius. Tell him not to ask Remus until I’ve talked to him.”

Sirius was confused at the request but agreed when James told him.

~

It was trickier than Lily would have liked to catch Sirius alone but she finally got a chance when Remus disappeared after dinner about a week later while the other three were playing ‘never have I ever’ with a few other Gryffindors. Remus had bowed out, saying he most definitely was not drinking before their exams were over.

“Never have I ever,” Sirius said then took a pause to burp inside his mouth, soundless. Even when he tried to be crass he couldn’t bring himself to shed all of the etiquette drilled into him at home. “Never have I ever had a threesome.” He was grinning devilishly at James.

James looked nervously at Lily who was approaching their circle, and quickly took a shot. “NEVER HAVE I EVER CHEATED,” he shouted quickly.

Lily rolled her eyes, not caring what James had gotten up to before her, and instead approached the raven-haired boy next to him. “Hey Sirius, a word?” she asked.

Sirius looked around the room quickly - looking for Remus, Lily presumed - then nodded.

“Later, boys and girls! Don’t have too much fun without me!” he told the rest and got up to walk outside the portrait with Lily. Once they were out, they didn’t speak for a few moments and Sirius let Lily lead him as they walked down the hallway.

“Have you really never had a threesome? Hard to believe Sirius Black never achieved that feat,” Lily asked, amused.

“Foursome. It was glorious,” he laughed back.

She shook her head. “Of course.”

“Not gonna ask me about Prongs?”

“Probably the Giant Squid and Firenze,” she shot back, grinning, and was rewarded with a hearty laugh from the boy.

They walked for a short while more before Lily stopped and pointed towards a door to their left. “Empty classroom. Let’s get in there.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Evans, I will have you know, I am a taken man.”

“Oh just get in, Black,” she huffed, rolling her eyes and opening the classroom door.

“Again: taken man, Evans,” he replied, grinning, “Although I do appreciate the no-nonsense approach. To the point, straight down to business, if you will. Prongs must appreciate that, he doesn’t seem the type for foreplay.”

“For the love of—” she started but paused when she remembered why they were there in the first place. She couldn’t believe it but she had to be _kind_ to Sirius.

This year she’d gotten to see him in a very different light. The arrogant bravado of Sirius was still very much intact, but beneath it was the vulnerability of a child. One that had been unloved by his parents and burdened by everything that being a Black meant. She had been privy to information from James that she simply hadn’t known before. As they grew closer, James had shared more and more of his life with her, and that included Sirius. His fights with his brother, his insecurities about his heritage, how he cared for Remus… She had learnt enough about him to know that his thick exterior didn’t mean she could be careless when she broached the subject of love and trust.

She gathered her thoughts and Sirius waited patiently for her to speak, looking at her calmly.

“James mentioned you—” She found she didn’t know what verb to use. ‘Wanted to’? ‘Thought you would’? ‘Assumed like an idiot’? She settled for: “You have been thinking about moving in with Remus.”

“It only makes sense, doesn’t it?” he asked, looking marginally uncomfortable.

“Sirius I—” She had had this conversation in her head before. Why was she having trouble getting the words out now?

“Look,” he sighed, “There’s obviously something you need to say, so just say it. Prongs has been really weird about this too.” He bit his lip for a brief second before continuing. “Is it because of the Ministry thing? Do you think he will be too angry with me because I didn’t know?”

“Sirius no, I don’t think he’s angry at all,” Lily answered sadly. She had spoken with Remus quite often about Sirius before the two had even gotten together. How Remus saw their relationship was very different than how Sirius did. He would not have gotten angry with Sirius over this. “I don’t think he expects you to know at all,” she said quietly.

Anger flashed in the dark-haired boy’s eyes and the pout was gone in an instant. He looked like he wanted to growl. “What has James told you?” he asked carefully, but his words were as dangerous as the look in his eyes.

“Not what you’re thinking of,” she answered, “Whatever you did in fifth year is still a secret, don’t worry.” She shook her head. “I have had a few guesses but he gave me no clues. He doesn’t tell me _everything_ , you know. All I know is that you hurt Remus, and I surmised that it has something to do with his lycanthropy for it to be so serious.” She shrugged. This conversation just kept getting worse. “It doesn’t matter, not really.”

“What then? Why are you two acting like I’m some lunatic for thinking my boyfriend will live with me after school?” he snarled, voice rising as he kept going. “We’ve slept in the same bed every night for months now, we’ve lived together for seven years. Why am I apparently an idiot for thinking it will continue?” Lily almost spoke but he wasn’t done. She could tell that he’d been holding onto this for a while. “You keep acting like you’re in on a joke that I’m not. So spit it out.”

For several moments, Lily just stared at the boy who was now looking at her in a way that sent a shiver down her spine. When he was angry - which he had never been with her or even around her, she now realized - he looked like an enraged panther. Determined and dangerous. His steely gaze made her feel cold and he looked elegant in a way that only certain people could, almost like a muggle royalty.

She finally looked down on the floor, then back up at him, determined to see this through. She loved Remus and Merlin help her she loved Sirius too, now. “Look, you— I don’t think you understand Remus, sometimes.” She could tell he wanted to cut her off so she continued hurriedly. “I know you know him more intimately than I ever will and of course there are parts of him that nobody but you will ever see. But Sirius—” She put a hand on his shoulder, and he stared at it with a pout that almost looked like a snarl. “You give Remus too much credit when it comes to trust. It doesn’t come as easily to him as it does to you, James and Peter.”

His expression softened slightly and left its place to slight confusion. He walked away from her touch and sat down on a chair close by. He looked at her expectantly and she knew he must be thinking a million things in his mind that he was not willing to share with her. She took a few steps towards him.

“You boys - you found out what he was an accepted him immediately. Not just him, you do it with all of you. You don’t make fun of Peter, not the way those older boys did when he first got here. The others don’t judge you for a second for being a Black. You all accept each other.” Sirius kept silent, so she continued. “But Remus…” Her eyes dropped to the floor again. “He’s more guarded than that. He doesn’t just _believe_ because something _looks_ to be a certain way.”

Sirius was openly sulking now. “I have no idea what you are talking about,” he said, honestly.

She rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry, I know I’m rambling, I just don’t know how to say this.”

“Just say it,” he said calmly. His jaw was tight but his expression was as emotionless as she thought it possible.

“I don’t know that he believes that you love him,” she said. The words had been difficult to get out and as soon as they were out there, she wished she could take them back. Sirius didn’t look hurt, though, he looked surprised.

“What?”

“He— I don’t — I mean he knows that you _love_ him of course, that you care about him, but… I don’t know if he believes that you’re in love with him.” He kept gaping at her. “That might be why he’s hesitating.”

“He said that?”

“That he’s hesitating about moving in with you? No. We didn’t talk about it, actually.” _Good move, Lily,_ she scolded herself, _Delayed, what, a second? He’ll just ask you again._

“That I’m not in love with him,” he said, his voice sounding very distant, as if his mind was miles away. He was running through their relationship in his head, wondering when he might have given Remus that impression. He was daft and made mistakes relatively often, but he couldn’t think why Remus would not think him sincere. He’d spent months courting him like some wizard out of a romance novel to even ask him out on a _date_ for Merlin’s sake. Unaffectionate he had not been.

Lily looked at him worriedly, not sure how to answer. “He just— He — When you got together, he said he was ‘cautiously happy’. When I asked further, he said it wasn’t expected and he didn’t quite have a plan for the end.”

“The end?”

“I asked the same,” she sighed, “And he said that naturally you would tire of it, the novelty would wear off. And when it did, he did not want to lose his friends. He sounded terrified of that possibility.”

“Novelty? He thought I wanted to go out with him for the _novelty_ of — of what? Being with a boy? I’ve been with boys. Being with somebody in our dorm? Not much novelty there, friends pull friends all the time.”

She simply kept looking at him. Surely, surely, he would arrive at the conclusion and she wouldn’t have to say it out loud.

“Oh,” he whispered, and she knew that he finally understood. He was quiet for a long while, and she played with hem of her shirt, waiting for him to say something.

She was grateful she didn’t have to say it herself, sad that it was upsetting him and a little frustrated that Sirius never seemed to think about this. She couldn’t put a finger on why - was he really that self-centered, or did he not care to the point of constantly forgetting it? As she thought about it, she got herself angrier and angrier.

“Why do you always do this?” she spat in the end, surprising herself but unable to stop once she had started.

“Do what?” he said absent-mindedly. Tired, still distant.

“Keep forgetting about him! The Ministry checks is one thing but you seem to never understand what it means to be what he is. I remember even in fourth or fifth year Remus would make comments that I didn’t understand until much later. He would talk about how you would discuss career opportunities and how he felt awkward about it. At the time he said it was because he didn’t have your connections, but of course he meant that as a werewolf he would never be able to hold almost any job. You keep saying things around him and forgetting what he is!”

“I _never_ forget, Lily,” he replied, sounding eerily calm after Lily’s outburst. He looked at her. “The full moon is in ten days, sun will set around ten but the moon will rise eighty minutes before. The month after is twentieth again, but the moon will rise at almost nine. He is not feeling any effects now, but he will start getting slight aches in a few days, and have difficulty concentrating. Four days until the full, he will need more food than he realizes, even with his increased appetite.” He stopped himself, and played with his hands as if washing them in an invisible sink. “Need me to continue?” he asked her. When she didn’t reply, he said “I know he’s a werewolf. But that’s not all that he is.”

“I know that,” she mumbled, not willing to admit that she was impressed.

“What does that have to do with us anyway,” he asked, voice calm still but demanding. It reminded her of her father, if her father had had the fearsome velvet voice of a Black heir.

“I think he… To be honest he hasn’t shared the details, but he either thinks you won’t love a werewolf, or that you will realize how bad life is with one and bail out.”

“If he hasn’t said it, why are you and James so convinced of it? Has it ever occurred to you that we are actually very happy?” Sirius was doing his best to sound calm but Lily could hear the sadness in his words, and a hint of irritation.

“Oh Sirius…” She fought the urge to comfort him with a hug. “He is happy to be with you, I know, but… Do you really not see it?”

“See what?"

“Whenever we talk about the future, Remus is always carefully quiet. He doesn’t say it, but he is unsure about his presence in our future. He doesn’t talk about what jobs he’ll apply for, just like he doesn’t talk about if he’ll be there or not when we meet at least once a week at Hogsmeade.”

“He told James he would live in West County,” he said and she could hear the bitterness in his voice.

“Only to get a reference from him. He was so embarrassed about it… At least that’s what James told me.”

“He shouldn’t have to,” Sirius said and he didn’t need to finish his sentence. They both knew. Their friend should not have to put up with all the barriers life kept presenting him with.

She nodded.

Sirius ran his fingers through his black hair nervously and Lily knew that for once Sirius Black was out of words to say. At least for a minute.

“He’s embarrassed, then,” he concluded, half-right, “He’s embarrassed of that side of him and he — he thinks what, I won’t love him because of it? That’s your theory?”

“I don’t know what he’s thinking, not exactly. But I do know that he was convinced you would leave him sooner or later the couple of times we talked about you two.”

“Thank you, Evans,” he said coldly and got up to leave, “Great to get insight into my relationship from Potter’s girl.”

She didn’t respond. She knew his irritation wasn’t really with her.

~

“You know, unless you tell the other person that you will be here, the Astronomy tower doesn’t magically summon you blokes to snog,” Sirius said lightly as he walked towards Remus, but there was something off in his voice. “Unless you _have_ done that and I should be getting ready for a duel with whoever is about to walk in.”

Remus, who had been leaning on a window and looking out, turned towards his boyfriend and smiled. “Hey Sirius.”

“Hey yourself,” he replied and sat down next to the werewolf, putting his arm around him to steady themselves and feel his warmth.

“You were busy playing, and I wasn’t looking for a snog, no need to get jealous, possessive puppy,” Remus joked.

Sirius squeezed Remus’ shoulder gently but did not respond to his comment. “Want a smoke?” he asked as he started lighting one up for himself. Remus made a face, and Sirius laughed. Remus had smoked a handful of times and was not a fan. “Just asking. You looked like you needed one.”

Remus shrugged. “Just thinking about leaving this place. So few days left and… I’ll miss it.” He leant further onto Sirius as he spoke, nuzzling up against his chest like a cat getting comfortable on a person’s lap.

Sirius smoked, careful to blow the smoke in the opposite direction of Remus. They sat in silence for a while. Remus could hear Sirius’ heartbeat and knew him well enough to know that Sirius had something on his mind, something to tell him. Remus wondered if he would break up with him now, but pushed the thought away as cuddling on the Astronomy tower floor wasn’t exactly a background anybody would pick for dumping their boyfriend.

“You know I love you, right?”

 _Maybe I was right after all, and I’m getting the break-up speech,_ Remus thought, only slightly surprised. He lifted his head and looked at Sirius. He nodded.

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows and looked away, taking several more drags of his cigarette before speaking again. “You know that I’m _in love_ with you?” he asked.

Remus frowned. This was an odd conversation, and not like Sirius at all. Sirius had made several grand gestures and had even written him silly poems filled with puns and sexual innuendos but they weren’t the type to have ‘relationship’ conversations. “What is this about, Padfoot?”

Sirius looked at him again then, finally. His eyes were searching for something in Remus’, but Remus didn’t know what it was so he couldn’t give it to him. He just looked back, curious as to where this was going.

“Had a lot to drink?” Remus asked, trying to joke but also wondering truthfully if this was a drunk Sirius thing. Sirius was usually the type to get ‘happy drunk’, but maybe tonight he was in a pensive mood.

Sirius shook his head, not taking his eyes off of Remus’. He took a breath and Remus thought he would speak but instead he lunged at Remus and kissed him. He started gentle, their lips gently brushing against each other. Then soft, smooth movements and several smacks as their lips parted and found each other again and again. Slowly it built up to their tongues clashing and teeth clacking, hands desperately groping at each other’s throats and hair, both boys moaning.

As suddenly as it had started, their kissing ended when Sirius drew back. “I’m in love with you Remus John Lupin and don’t you dare think otherwise.”

“Now you _have_ to tell me. What happened? Did they make you kiss someone on a dare or something?”

Sirius shrugged and smoked, looking away using the pretense of needing to blow smoke to the side. He was always talkative and loud about his thoughts except when they were serious, and this was one of those moments. He struggled to find the words.

Remus started stroking the dark-haired boy’s arm gently, causing him to face his boyfriend again.

“Lily said you don’t think I love you,” Sirius replied and the serenity in his voice came as a shock to himself. He felt emotional and desperate as a love-sick teenager - _Which I am, I suppose,_ he thought bitterly - but his voice was that of an adult discussing if Remus wanted milk with his tea.

The werewolf didn’t respond for a while and the fear in Sirius’ heart grew. Lily and James had been right, he realized. His boyfriend who he had spent the better part of the year wooing and spoiling didn’t think he loved him. He idly wondered if that was why they hadn’t had sex yet.

“I take it it’s true, then,” he said when he got no response. His voice shook now, and he stopped any attempt at controlling his facial expression.

“Sirius I…” Remus’ voice trailed off. He looked at Sirius with hurt in his eyes for a brief second before putting on his ‘mask’ as the Marauders called it. The placid, almost-expressionless face and eyes of Remus surely-I’m-not-a-werewolf-also-I-never-have-feelings Lupin. “It’s more complicated than—”

“Don’t,” Sirius growled, “Don’t insult me by giving me a speech you would give a stranger. And wipe that stupid look off of your face.” He got up and started pacing. The werewolf kept quiet but had the grace to look ashamed. “I don’t know what you want from me, Moony! I courted you like a bloody bird, I pined for you for _years_! What more do you want from me?”

The werewolf winced. He bit on his lower lip for a few seconds and got up to get closer to Sirius.

“I believe that you love me,” he said carefully, trying to catch Sirius’ eyes, “I know you do. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t do all those things for me - forget the poems and gifts - you would not have become an Animagus for me.”

“So I love you the way Peter and James love you. That it? You’re gonna suck them off too?” Sirius spat back.

That seemed to have done the trick and Remus snarled, making Sirius feel immense satisfaction. “What do you want?”

“I want to know what _you_ want! Do you want me to propose? Do you want me to get a tattoo on my forehead saying ‘Lupin’s Property’? I’ve given you more romance than anybody in this bloody school has ever gotten, and apparently it means _nothing_!”

“It means everything, Sirius,” Remus whispered, rage seemingly gone. Sirius wanted the anger back, he wanted Remus to feel as upset as he was feeling.

“Don’t give me that! I thought we were past this pretending nonsense. I thought you — I thought you were honest with me.”

“I _am_ , Sirius, I just—” Remus started but Sirius, annoyed with his still-calm voice, cut him off.

“For once in your life Lupin, be sincere.” He thought back at what had broken Remus’ facade earlier and searched for words to make him angry again. “James is taken now, I suppose, but if you want Peter too, don’t let me stand in your way. All the same to you anyway, aren’t we? Just friends.”

For a split second Remus looked at Sirius as if he wanted to punch him in the face. He probably did. But he ended up sighing instead, and looking at the floor. “You’re trying to aggravate me. Why?”

“You won’t talk to me otherwise! Prongs, Lily, _you_ \- you’re all in on this apparently-obvious information and keep talking ominously but won’t tell me.”

“It’s not like that…” Remus said and started chewing on his lower lip again.

“What is it like, then? Merlin’s balls, Remus, just tell me.” A beat. “Don’t you love me?

“I’ve been in love with you since I hit puberty, Padfoot,” Remus said, then laughed darkly.

Sirius just groaned in reply, letting his shoulders drop and looking at his boyfriend desperately, tired of trying to pry information out of him. Remus walked over and Sirius let the taller boy hug him, sighing and leaning into the touch.

“You’re just so—” Remus started, and although he paused, Sirius knew better than to interrupt. “You just - take - what you want,” he continued, stumbling over his words, “You _feel_ and act upon it immediately. You don’t always… Think everything through. You live in the moment.”

“And you thought I was just infatuated.”

Remus shrugged. Sirius laughed into his neck.

“You daft tosser,” he chuckled, then tilted his head to kiss Remus. Even in the dim light of the tower he could see Remus’ blush after they’d pulled out of the kiss. “Why would I have worked so hard and kept going at it months after I ‘got you’, if that had been it? I already had you.”

Remus’ ears burned as they turned red. Sirius raised his eyebrows.

“Remus Lupin,” Sirius said, laughing, “Have you not been putting out because you thought I might leave you if you did?”

The werewolf shrugged and looked away. The truth was that he had been afraid he would like it too much and be unable to give it up. He hadn’t wanted a taste of something he would soon lose.

Sirius let out a loud, dramatic stage sigh. “All this time, I could have been getting laid,” he groaned, throwing his head back. Remus punched him lightly on the arm in response. “Moony I _love_ you, I’m not going to leave you if we shag. If our other activities are any indication, it will only tie me to you tighter. Ever since you gave me a blowjob for the first time, you licking your lips has the same effect on me that Veelas’ giggles do on Wormtail.”

Remus pressed his head on the nape of Sirius’ neck, and didn’t reply.

“You know, we _are_ in the Astronomy tower,” Sirius said cheerfully, “Perfect place to test this theory.” The werewolf chuckled into his neck, sending pleasant shivers down Sirius’ spine and crotch as he imagined what they might be doing in just a few minutes. He had been patient for Remus’ sake but it had been hell not having sex for almost a year.

Remus pulled back, then, and looked at Sirius intently, chewing the inside of his cheek. Sirius raised a questioning eyebrow. The werewolf looked around quickly.

“In the cupboard, maybe?” he asked, unsure, and pointed at a cupboard across from them.

“Why?” Sirius frowned, “We can charm a few pillows right here and put some locking charms on. Or even better, go back to the dormitory and get comfortable on a bed.” Sirius didn’t want Remus’ first time having sex to be twisting and turning in an uncomfortable cupboard.

“I want it to be dark,” Remus whispered.

“Well that’s not going to happen,” Sirius huffed, “I want to see you, that’s the whole point. And believe me, you want to see me too.” And now Sirius was thinking about how gorgeous Remus looked when he came. Oh they definitely had to do it facing each other, he _had_ to see that.

“You’ll see my scars,” the werewolf said quietly and took a step back from his boyfriend, clutching his left arm with his right hand.

“I’ve seen them before,” Sirius replied softly. He had seen a lot of them on Remus’ arms, legs and neck. The werewolf hid them relatively well, always wearing long-sleeves and not letting his friends see him transform. Still, over the years Sirius had seen quite a few of them.

“Not all of them,” the dirty-blond mumbled in reply, looking around the room, desperate to find something for his eyes to focus on except Sirius.

“I don’t care,” Sirius started and grabbed Remus’ right hand, raising it and revealing some skin. He started kissing Remus’ thin scars along his forearm. “Scratch that - I care and I think it’s sexy.” Remus let him keep kissing along his arm soundlessly. “Scars are _cool_ , Moony.” At that, the werewolf drew back his arm sharply.

“Are you afraid I’ll get jealous? I already know you are the ruggedly handsome one of us two, I’ve come to terms with it,” Sirius joked.

Remus laughed, in spite of himself. He thought he needed grand declarations of love or something serious and drastic to believe that Sirius loved him. But in the end, the shorter boy’s openness and light-hearted acceptance did the trick, after more than two years of holding on to the insecurity inside him. He still had to ask one more thing before he could let himself go.

“And you don’t want me because I’m a werewolf? You don’t think I’ll be a beast in bed, so to speak, because the full moon’s close?” he asked, curious but not upset.

“It _is_ a part of you, Remus,” Sirius replied, running his hands through Remus’ hair and looking at him, eyes full of appreciation and love, “I won’t stand here and tell you that I don’t love it too. Can you tell me you don’t love this exquisite face that centuries of selective breeding has gifted me with?” He paused to let the werewolf think it over. “I don’t just love one part of you or the other. I hate it that it hurts you every month and that it makes life difficult for you, but otherwise I cannot deny that there are attractive parts of it. Like the spark in your eyes as the moon draws closer and you let your self-control slip. That self-control itself, the strength you have to be calmer than ’most everyone I know even the day of the full. Not saying I wish you anguish, Moony, but getting up the day after being torn apart and going to class, studying and scoring higher than anybody else in NEWT-level classes… It makes me want you more.” Sirius realized that he was rambling so stopped and smiled at his boyfriend, waiting for him to reply.

Remus smiled back, and drew the other boy into a kiss, their most sincere and lustful one of the night. The werewolf pushed him onto the closest wall and Sirius let out a surprised yelp, but didn’t stop kissing back or running his hands over any part of Remus that he could reach.

As they slowly got down onto the floor and Sirius hurriedly took off his robes and shirt, Remus’ hand lingered on his own button-up shirt’s second button. He looked nervous, but his kiss-swollen lips and obvious erection inside his trousers showed that it was a different kind of nervous than a few minutes before.

“I need you to promise, Sirius,” he told his boyfriend, raising his chin with a finger to meet him eye-to-eye, “Be honest with me. When you see them — some of them are really bad. Don’t hold back gasps or pretend. You will get used to seeing them, but I know it takes a while.”

“I promise I won’t pretend,” he replied happily, but as Remus took off his shirt slowly a thought intruded, when his brain had so far only been thinking ‘ohmerlinohmerlinIamgoingtoseeRemusnaked’. “Remus you - have you done this before?”

“Yeah, haven’t you?” he replied, half-amused, and shrugged off his button-down, leaving a thin t-shirt between his chest and the warm summer night air. He moved on to his belt and didn’t see Sirius’ pout until, noticing the other boy’s lack of movement, he looked up to see what was holding him up. “What?”

“I thought you were — you know—”

“A virgin?” Remus said, rolling his eyes. Leave it to Sirius to think he is innocent.

Sirius shrugged, still pouting.

“You’re not a virgin either Padfoot, can’t really hold it against me,” Remus said, letting his belt drop onto the floor with a ‘clink’ sound.

The dark-haired boy _knew_ that Remus was right. He had no right to wish Remus were a virgin when he himself had shagged or snogged half the school. Yet the thought of somebody having seen Remus naked bothered him.

“Sirius,” Remus whispered into his ear - when had he moved so close? - and touched Sirius’ bare chest, stroking it gently. “Let’s talk later.” Remus took one of Sirius’ hands and held it against his crotch, and put his own hand over Sirius’ jeans, stroking his erection through the thick fabric. Sirius let out a needy moan and felt his cock twitch.

“I just don’t want anybody else to touch you,” Sirius mumbled between kisses as they undressed each other. Remus was now shirtless and Sirius stared at his scars in awe, tracing over them with his fingers and kissing ones he could reach.

“Possessive little puppy, aren’t we?” Remus replied mischievously and chuckled. He started biting down Sirius’ neck and bare chest between words. “How.” His nape. Sirius gasped. “About.” His collar bone. The other boy let out a moan. “You.” His nipple. Sirius’ leg twitched and he threw his head back. “Claim.” He bit down on Sirius’ ribcage hard to accentuate the word strongly. It would leave a mark. Sirius whined in pleasure. “Me.” He licked down the dark-haired boy’s happy trail and Sirius could only gasp and whimper as the werewolf took off his jeans and kissed over his thighs.

Remus nuzzled against Sirius’ pants, breathing in the smell. As he kissed his cock through the fabric and his fingers reached to take the underwear off, Sirius’ eyes snapped open and he put his hands on Remus’. Remus looked up at him with a frown and questioning eyes.

“We can’t —” The flustered boy didn’t want to say that he would come way too quickly if Remus continued. It wasn’t like him to finish so fast but he was harder and hornier than he had ever been and he knew that if Remus’ lips touched him, he would release immediately. He couldn’t have that tonight. The reason he was this horny in the first place, soaking his pants with pre-come, was the thought of seeing Remus naked and whimpering underneath him, as he— _I have to stop_ thinking, he thought, **_Now_** _. Less thinking, more action._

“Need you,” he whispered and switched their positions, crawling on top of an unresisting Remus. He leant down for a kiss, but instead licked down from Remus’ jaw to collar bone. The dirty-blond let out a whine. “One more thing,” he said, as if an idea just came to him.

“Don’t stop,” Remus gasped and pulled Sirius’ head back down to his neck.

Sirius chuckled at his enthusiastic boyfriend, and propped himself up, causing the werewolf to let out another needy whine. When he opened his eyes to look up at Sirius, his eyes were filled with hunger and need, much more intense than Sirius had expected after hearing the soft whines. It took all his strength not to give in to forceful werewolf. If their wrestling in the past had been any indication, the activities coming up would be delightfully fun and end up in a few wonderful bruises.

“One more thing,” he insisted. His boyfriend looked up at him impatiently, but didn’t interrupt again. “Will you move in with me after school?”

For a second Remus looked surprised, then annoyed. “Is this really the time to be talking about this?” He clawed at Sirius’ crotch and chest with his two hands.

“Moony, say you’ll move in with me.”

“Can we talk about this when I am not in the process of getting blue balls?” He was so horny he wouldn’t have been able to recite the alphabet, let alone talk about their relationship.

“Moony…” 

Remus looked up at Sirius’ eyes, letting his hands rest on his chest, no longer groping him. “Was this why you came up here earlier? To ask me?”

“Partially,” Sirius admitted, “The other part of it was that what they said was killing me. They — they said you wouldn’t move in with me, that you wanted to live alone.” He frowned. “I can’t not wake up with you every morning, Remus. I won’t.” He gave his boyfriend a quick but amorous kiss before looking at him again with a determined stare. “Don’t you want me to wake you up like that every morning?”

“You have dog breath in the morning, Padfoot,” Remus replied, but his heart wasn’t in the joke and neither of them laughed.

“Remus…”  
  
“Yes,” Remus said, voice barely a sigh, “I really do.”

“So you will move in with me, right? None of this nonsense about living alone?” He needed to hear it.

“Are you blackmailing me, Black?” Remus asked with a smile, and ground his erection against Sirius’ crotch, getting an involuntary hiss of pleasure from the shorter boy.

“Maybe I am,” Sirius replied mischievously and started working on Remus’ zipper in a rush. He paused when his fingers brushed his erection through the thin fabric of his pants.

The werewolf smiled nervously as Sirius kissed down his chest and looked at it more intensely than before. His fingers were no longer going over his scars idly but actually studying them. The deeper ones made Sirius’ fingers linger and go over them slowly again and again, as if trying to memorize them. Remus shifted uncomfortably when Sirius spent what felt like ages (more likely a minute) over a particularly big gash running across his chest and up to his neck. That had happened a few years ago, when he was home over the break.

Sensing his boyfriend’s discomfort, Sirius went up and gave him a long kiss, both of them moaning into it as their bodies rubbed against each other. “You’re gorgeous,” he whispered, willing Remus to believe him with his lustful stare, because it was true.

“You’re Sirius Black,” Remus replied with a chuckle, blushing and gesturing at Sirius’ body, “As you put it humbly in fourth year, you are ‘the handsomest rogue to walk these halls’.”

“I’d have to be, to deserve you,” the dark-haired boy replied, not missing a beat. They looked at each other and Remus knew that Sirius meant it. He looked like he felt blessed to be here, to be doing this.

And so did Remus.

"Flattery will get you everywhere... Yes, I'll move in with you."


End file.
